Memories from the Funeral Part II

When Keith died many people wanted to eulogize him at the funeral. Myself, Our brother and younger sister among them. I felt a deep need to be the one who spoke and by God's grace I was chosen to give the eulogy at the end of the Mass. A few days after the funeral I shared the transcript (as best as I could remember) on my blog.

Here is what I said . . .

On behalf of Lynn and her children, my parents and my brothers and sisters I'd like to welcome you to the Illinois regional Jeopardy auditions. (wait for laughter to subside) Keith and the rest of our family grew up at this church. The first funeral I recall attending was here. It was for the father of a school and scouting friend of Chris and mine. After the service, my dad approached the widow and said "38 is much too young to go."

Now, I was about 10, and like maybe many of you, (motioning to the students) 38 did not seem young to me at all. But let me tell you, 38 is much too young (Keith was 38 when he died). When you love somebody whenever they die it is always much too soon.

Many people who knew Keith only by his diagnosis (bi-polar disorder) might think that there were two Keith's. That was so untrue. There was only one Keith. He had a greater capacity for love and enjoyment than anyone I ever knew. He loved his family. He loved playing games and he loved jokes. He was active in his children's schooling and scouting. (I meant to talk briefly how he loved chess and how he was helping my son Charlie with his chess class on their last visit together a week before he died. I didn't get to that part. I also wanted to talk specifically about how much he loved his wife Lynn, missed that as well). He was logical to the point of being obnoxious or perhaps for the purpose of being obnoxious. He'd be at a a party at my house and I'd say "Keith there's Pepsi in the cooler if you want one." And he'd say "Actually, there's Pepsi in the cooler even if I don't want one."

Keith's passing has left many of us with the same question. A question my daughter Emma has asked many times this week. "Daddy, why did Uncle Keith have to die?" I don't think it was any coincidence that Keith died during Holy Week. During the same time that many of you were celebrating the stations of the cross and asking "Why did Jesus have to die?" Pastor Ed you are right Keith is not asking those questions now. Keith understood the hope of the resurrection and He is in heaven right now with his Savior.

During the past 3 years during the course of his illness, (Keith had heart and kidney ailments) many people have stopped me and asked me "How is Keith? How is your brother doing?" Keith is doing great. He is doing better than we can even imagine.

The write thing at the right time.

The day after Keith's Funeral I was having a rough day. Here is an excerpt form my blog of how my Daughter Emma lifted my spirits on a very difficult day.

Today has been a difficult day. I started teaching the kids today and it did not go really well. I went shopping after Amy came home and started crying about three times in the five minutes I was in the store. Purchasing refried beans usually does not have that effect on me. Keith has been on my mind all day.When I got back in the house I started crying again. Emma was finishing a writing assignment that Amy gave her last week. She asked me what was the matter and I said that I wasn't feeling very well today. She handed me her finished assignment and said "here, I hope this makes you feel better." It really did! She gave me permission to share it here.

My Dad! By Emma R

A man like Dad is hard to find. If you looked for someone like him in a 1,000,000 men, not one would be just like him. That is because my dad is the best dad in the world! But not the best father. Just kidding!

That is because he is silly, helpful, kind, nice, funny, and crazy! He likes to say "llama". Once he said I'll give you 5 cents for every time I say llama!" Boy! Did we get a lot of money!
We used to get 50 cents for allowance. Now we get $2.00! He even lets me be paid for some jobs.

He always prays for Lucy and sometimes lays down with her. He loves playing games with us!
When Lucy has sticker time, he lets her choose. When she has computer time, he does exactly what she wants. He makes Lucy's school fun. He takes our neighbor to the store, because she does not have a car.

He used to visit our uncle at the hospital. In conclusion, my dad is the best dad in the world because he is nice, kind and crazy.

I just gave a eulogy yesterday. The problem with a eulogy is that the person you want to tell all these great things about is not there to hear them. Emma's paper seemed like a eulogy that I was able to receive.

The International Impact of Keith Part I

This memory comes from Rosie Button, a British friend of mine who like many of my friends stayed with my folks for a few days (because of my folks great kindness and also proximity to O'hare.)

I remember meeting Keith on my first ever night in the US, in 1997. Dan and I stayed w your parents in Chicago, right after I flew in, and he was around. When we were leaving early the next morning, he was out in the street, fixing the windshield wipers on his car, in his dressing-gown. He remains one of my first American memories. We are sorry for your loss.

A Summertime remembrance

My sister Bonnie wanted to share this memory of Keith . . .

Growing up, in the summer, Keith and I would always spend our days together...We would eat breakfast together and then sometimes for lunch he would ride his bike to the store and buy us lunch...Then we would watch "The Great Space Coaster" together followed by a show called "Today's Special" on Nickelodeon...After that, we'd walk to the pool, spend the day hanging out, and then go home....We'd do this every day during the summer....

Memories from the Funeral Part I

My Dad drives the bus for the parochial school that all his children attended. My 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Molick is now the Principal of the School. At Keith's funeral, the entire student body attended. Generally, this is not done. The students who knew the deceased or perhaps the class of the deceased relative will attend the funeral. But there they were the entire student population of Queen of the Rosary was on hand mostly out of the respect the students and faculty have for my Dad. Their attendance meant a great deal to Him and to our whole family.