First Poem Of The Year

 

I have written my first poem in a while, and it turns out also to be my first poem of the new year.  

Juggling

Why do I juggle?

Why Do I struggle,

with the pressure of every demand?

Why do I struggle?

Why must I juggle

When God has each ball

well in hand?

Why do I stumble?

Why do I grumble

constantly rehashing my plight?

Why do I grumble?

Why must I stumble

instead of choosing to walk

in the light?

Why can't I stop

Juggling and Stumbling

Struggling and Grumbling

Living a life based on fear?

Why cant I give up on 

Trying and Crying

Believing the lying

That I whisper into my ear?

The answers are found in the questions.

Truth is more than suggestions.

Poetry Friday is being hosted this week by Marcie Flinchum Atkins.  Click here to join the fun.  .

New Years Eve

2023  was a good year.   For the firsts semester of 2023  we got to work at the same school together.  In April we celebrated 25 years of marriage together.  

As soon as the school year ended, we went  to Greece  to celebrate said anniversary.  It was indeed amazing.

Besides hobnobbing with Greeks I also spent a lot of time near geeks as well.  After completing a Geek triathlon  of a comic book convention, a renaissance faire and a Doctor Who convention I went to my first Rubik's Cube tournament.  I had family members, plausible deniability and fun at each event.  

Rubik's Cube Convention Madison, WI

Randy Stonehill, Phil Keaggy concert South Holland IL

2023 was a good year and  I am hopeful that 2024 will be one as well.  I am also hopeful that 2024 will be a good year  as far as this blog goes.  

60 Days in 60 Year: 1982

I usually think of a year to write about and then a topic comes to mind when I think of the events of that year,  This time I had an idea for a topic and I thought of 3 different years that could fir the topic.  Those years were 1976, 1979 & 1982.  The topic was discovering that the world can be a scary place.  I finally decided on 1982 but let me tell you about the local events in 1976 , 1979 and 1982 and then dig a little deeper on 1982.

In 1976 a murder occurred on the street where I lived.  I was 12 years old at the time and  one of the 3 victims was just a year older than me.  His name was Michael Columbo and he and his parents were killed by his sister and his sisters boyfriend.  Patty Columbo is still in prison for the murders and Frank Deluca died in prison earlier this year.  Michael Columbo would have turned 60 this year.

In 1979 John Wayne Gacy was arrested for a series of brutal murders rapes mutilations of young men my age and living in suburbs near mine.  He received the death penalty some 15 years later.

Both these cases changed my view of the world a little.  When a brutal murder  occurs on the street where you live, in a house that would later be on your newspaper delivery route it's going to effect you.  When boys your age are being abducted in neighboring suburbs and being raped, murdered and buried it is more than unnerving.  It makes you wonder if you are truly safe. 

In 1982 when I was still in high school the unspeakable hit close to home again.  When I say close to home, I am not exaggerating at all.  Tylenol capsules filled with potassium cyanide were sold at two grocery stores, one in Arlington Heights which neighbors my home town of Elk Grove Village  and the other in Elk Grove 4 blocks from my house.  This was in my senior year of high school and occurred at a store my family had been buying groceries, including Tylenol my entire life.   

A 12 year old girl from my hometown was one of the seven who died.  She stayed home from school because of a stomach ache was given one Tylenol and died within hours.

As heinous as the first two crimes, they Tylenol murders to me was equally as perverse.  Especially when you consider the crime has still not been solved more than 40 years later.  Also the randomness of the victims, anyone who  bought products from either of those grocery store was a potential victim, which means I was a potential victim.  It is one thing to think that I was a target demographic of Gacy, but another thing entirely to realize that I was buying groceries at that store when there were tainted Tylenol available for purchase.  It is chilling.

This case also singlehandedly changed how products are manufactured.   Johnson & Johnson, the manufacturers  of Tylenol, not only responded to the crisis by recalling 31 million bottles of their product, but also introduced tamperproof packaging and child-proof caps.    They lost quite a bit of money in the process but  received well deserved praise with how they handled the situation.

Evil (read about any of these cases and the word evil, will come up again and again) is an age old problem.  Encountering it on my street, in my town, and near my town isn't unusual, as it exists everywhere.  But seeing such extreme examples of evil , may have been one reason why I was always on the lookout for good.

60 Years in 60 Days:1970

 1970: Keith 

I was in first grade in 1970.  It was my first year as a full time student as kindergarten back then was a strictly half day affair.  My older sister was in 2nd grade and my younger brother was doing whatever 4 year-olds did back in the early 70's. I don't have any memories when I didn't have both an older sister and a younger brother.

I do have memories before my youngest brother, Keith was born  on veteran's day 1970.  I remember some of kindergarten.  I remember my first day of first grade and I certainly remember walking home from school that day in Mid November when my Mom was coming home from the hospital with Keith.

I also sadly have many memories of life without my baby brother.  He died a little more than 14 1/2 years ago.  An event that is very well chronicled on this blog. This is the fifteenth birthday we have celebrated without him. 

 By the time Keith was starting first grade, I was starting 7th grade.  Because of the age difference we weren't all that close growing up.  He started high school when I was in college living at home and volunteering in the same high school youth group I had been in while in school.  He starting attending that youth group and we spent quite a bit of time together because of that. As a result we became closer and even though we weren't exactly super tight, he was probably the relative I was closest with.

In 1987, the year I left home to reinvent myself, Keith started his senior year of high school. Over Spring Break that year he had his first hospitalization due to mental illness.  This was the beginning of his road to a Bi-polar diagnosis.  I think back then they just called it a nervous breakdown.

That Fall he did go away to school, actually pretty close to where I had landed and he spent his first two semesters of college the farthest he ever lived away from my parents.  The next year He went back home to a local junior college and started to find his own way. While there he met the woman he would eventually marry and he got married before either of his older brothers.

Keith eventually graduated from college and began graduate school but never completed it.  I think the only job he ever had was at McDonalds, but he always worked hard and he always took care of his family, And I never met someone who loved his kids more fiercely than Keith did.  

Some Friday night in the summer of 2006, I was at an outdoor movie night at a local park with my family.  My cell phone rang, it was my Dad.  Keith was sick, He had only 10 % use of his heart and his kidney function was at the same rate.  Within a week, he was getting treated at the Mayo Clinic.  

His kidneys were shot because of the lithium he took for his bi-polar, but we never discovered what happened with his heart. From 2006 to April 2008 Keith's life developed into a consistent pattern.  He'd be hospitalized he'd then go to a nursing home (one of the only 30 somethings in the joint) then go back home far a month or two and then he'd be hospitalized again  because either his heart medicine was creating problems for his kidneys or his kidney medicine was messing with the bi-polar or any other such permutation. rinse, lather, repeat.  

Keith loved trivia, especially Jeopardy. He was an excellent chess player and  loved all kind of puzzles especially those in Games magazine.  I am sure, he would have been great at current games, like Wordle and Nerdle. 

Keith died at the age of 38 so I always think of him as 38. Or I think of him at 27, when he got married.  Or I think of him at 30 when his son Robert was born.  Or I think of him ay 32 when his daughter Sarah arrived. Or at the age of 22 when he visited me in Russia and said of my filing system, "A place for everything and everything on the floor." Or at the age of 17 when I saw him graduate high school at the old Poplar Creek concert venue. Or playing tee ball at the age of 7 or 8.  Or at the age of a few days, that November day on 1970 when he came home from the hospital.  I guess I remember him a lot.  I miss him even more.

60 years In 60 days: 1965

 I was born in 1964.  I turned 1 in 1965.  I don't have any memories of life in 1965.What I do know is that  my sister turned 2 in June , I turned 1 in September at the time that my Mom was pregnant with my younger brother who was born in March of 1966.  By the end of 1965 My Das  was 27, my Mom was 26, my sister 2 and I was one.  .  I am now 59 years old so I am older now than the combined age of my entire family in 1965.