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Tuesday, January 2, 2024
First Poem Of The Year
I have written my first poem in a while, and it turns out also to be my first poem of the new year.
Juggling
Why do I juggle?
Why Do I struggle,
with the pressure of every demand?
Why do I struggle?
Why must I juggle
When God has each ball
well in hand?
Why do I stumble?
Why do I grumble
constantly rehashing my plight?
Why do I grumble?
Why must I stumble
instead of choosing to walk
in the light?
Why can't I stop
Juggling and Stumbling
Struggling and Grumbling
Living a life based on fear?
Why cant I give up on
Trying and Crying
Believing the lying
That I whisper into my ear?
The answers are found in the questions.
Truth is more than suggestions.
Poetry Friday is being hosted this week by Marcie Flinchum Atkins. Click here to join the fun. .
Sunday, December 31, 2023
New Years Eve
2023 was a good year. For the firsts semester of 2023 we got to work at the same school together. In April we celebrated 25 years of marriage together.
As soon as the school year ended, we went to Greece to celebrate said anniversary. It was indeed amazing.
Besides hobnobbing with Greeks I also spent a lot of time near geeks as well. After completing a Geek triathlon of a comic book convention, a renaissance faire and a Doctor Who convention I went to my first Rubik's Cube tournament. I had family members, plausible deniability and fun at each event.
Rubik's Cube Convention Madison, WI |
Randy Stonehill, Phil Keaggy concert South Holland IL
2023 was a good year and I am hopeful that 2024 will be one as well. I am also hopeful that 2024 will be a good year as far as this blog goes.
Sunday, November 12, 2023
60 Days in 60 Year: 1982
Saturday, November 11, 2023
60 Years in 60 Days:1970
1970: Keith
I was in first grade in 1970. It was my first year as a full time student as kindergarten back then was a strictly half day affair. My older sister was in 2nd grade and my younger brother was doing whatever 4 year-olds did back in the early 70's. I don't have any memories when I didn't have both an older sister and a younger brother.
I do have memories before my youngest brother, Keith was born on veteran's day 1970. I remember some of kindergarten. I remember my first day of first grade and I certainly remember walking home from school that day in Mid November when my Mom was coming home from the hospital with Keith.
I also sadly have many memories of life without my baby brother. He died a little more than 14 1/2 years ago. An event that is very well chronicled on this blog. This is the fifteenth birthday we have celebrated without him.
By the time Keith was starting first grade, I was starting 7th grade. Because of the age difference we weren't all that close growing up. He started high school when I was in college living at home and volunteering in the same high school youth group I had been in while in school. He starting attending that youth group and we spent quite a bit of time together because of that. As a result we became closer and even though we weren't exactly super tight, he was probably the relative I was closest with.
In 1987, the year I left home to reinvent myself, Keith started his senior year of high school. Over Spring Break that year he had his first hospitalization due to mental illness. This was the beginning of his road to a Bi-polar diagnosis. I think back then they just called it a nervous breakdown.
That Fall he did go away to school, actually pretty close to where I had landed and he spent his first two semesters of college the farthest he ever lived away from my parents. The next year He went back home to a local junior college and started to find his own way. While there he met the woman he would eventually marry and he got married before either of his older brothers.
Keith eventually graduated from college and began graduate school but never completed it. I think the only job he ever had was at McDonalds, but he always worked hard and he always took care of his family, And I never met someone who loved his kids more fiercely than Keith did.
Some Friday night in the summer of 2006, I was at an outdoor movie night at a local park with my family. My cell phone rang, it was my Dad. Keith was sick, He had only 10 % use of his heart and his kidney function was at the same rate. Within a week, he was getting treated at the Mayo Clinic.
His kidneys were shot because of the lithium he took for his bi-polar, but we never discovered what happened with his heart. From 2006 to April 2008 Keith's life developed into a consistent pattern. He'd be hospitalized he'd then go to a nursing home (one of the only 30 somethings in the joint) then go back home far a month or two and then he'd be hospitalized again because either his heart medicine was creating problems for his kidneys or his kidney medicine was messing with the bi-polar or any other such permutation. rinse, lather, repeat.
Keith loved trivia, especially Jeopardy. He was an excellent chess player and loved all kind of puzzles especially those in Games magazine. I am sure, he would have been great at current games, like Wordle and Nerdle.
Keith died at the age of 38 so I always think of him as 38. Or I think of him at 27, when he got married. Or I think of him at 30 when his son Robert was born. Or I think of him ay 32 when his daughter Sarah arrived. Or at the age of 22 when he visited me in Russia and said of my filing system, "A place for everything and everything on the floor." Or at the age of 17 when I saw him graduate high school at the old Poplar Creek concert venue. Or playing tee ball at the age of 7 or 8. Or at the age of a few days, that November day on 1970 when he came home from the hospital. I guess I remember him a lot. I miss him even more.
These Blogs Are So Last Year
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Does Grief Last Forever?1 year ago
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Growing Up1 year ago
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