Taking A Mental Health Day

 I went to Greece last month and it was an amazing trip.  It was a time to celebrate 25 years of marriage to my best friend,  I had an idea of posting about each day exactly a month later on my blog and then posting it on on mine and my wife's FB page.  Now, to be perfectly blunt, very few people consistently read my blog and none of my FB friends are putting any pressure on me at all to post everyday.  Yet I put pressure on myself to do it.  So when I didn't post yesterday and got one day behind on this self imposed deadline and decided I would do two days today, and as of 9:30 p.m. had not done either I began to freak out.  Why? I really want to post about every day, but who cares whether it's exactly a month behind?  Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves for no real reasons?

I think everybody goes off kilter sometimes.  Not exactly like me, but I don't always go off kilter for the same reasons.  But it is important that when I do go off kilter, I bring myself back.  When this happens, I ask God for help.  I ask my family for help and I make changes.  Sometimes it just means letting myself off the hook for something.  Sometimes it means not believing lies.  Sometimes it means changing my plans.

So, as far as my memories of the trip go, I hope to recount each day  on the blog and then on Facebook.  But I do that because I love writing and I loved the trip and for no other reason.  It's not going to have to be each day 1 month later like some self imposed a to z challenge. And If I never finish it, so what?  It was a good trip and Amy and I both know it.

There are enough pressure on us as a society, that we need to stop putting additional burdens on ourselves and our friends and family.

I'll be back tomorrow, or so, to tell you about losing my phone on the Island of Sifnos on June 11th and the other more interesting things that happened that day.  I kicked myself a lot for losing my phone, but that was not an important thing that happened that day. I kicked myself a lot for not posting yesterday, but that was not an important part of yesterday.  Today, I worked for 8 hours at the movie theatre and when I got home there was a tornado waning after dinner.  After our family got back from the basement, my time was better spent decompressing with the family than holing myself up with the computer just to meet some imaginary time requirements.  I just sometimes have to remind that to my foot when it wants to kick myself.  

Yo Yo Man

First, the good news.  I have lost 20.2 lbs this year, 7 lbs this week alone.  The bad news in addition to losing 20.2 lbs this year, I have also gained 13.2 lbs.  In other words, the 7 lbs. I lost this week is the only weight I truly lost all year.  And since I tend to gain back all the weight I lose, we really can't be certain that those 7lbs we'll stay gone.

At the end of last year, I weighed myself as I do every Saturday and I weighed 259.6 lbs.  I estimated by losing 1 lb a week for 10 weeks I could be below 250 by Saturday, March 11th. Today is March 11th and I now weigh 252.6 pounds.  During those 10 weeks, I lost weight 6 different times and I gained weight 4 times. 

Perhaps a little historical perspective would be helpful here.  I weighed 174 lbs when I was a Freshman in high school. When I graduated high school I weighed 174 lbs.  During high school, I could eat all the time and never gain weight which is exactly what I did.  Between 18 and 33 the year I got married my weight went up gradually to somewhere between 200 and 220.  In the first 16 or so years of my marriage it continued to go up until about 8 years ago I weighed myself and saw that I was 285 lbs.  

In the past 8 years is when the yo-yo-ing began.  Yo-yo-ing is only marginally better than unchecked gradual increases.  Since June of  2021, I've gone from 262 pounds in June to 227.6 on Christmas Day 2021 but was back up to 263 by January of this year. That's a year 1/2 long yo-yo. 

I've been wanting to post about my weight loss/weight gain struggles here for a while.  I feel a little like Piglet in the opening of Winnie The Pooh and The Blustery day. He's raking leaves and generally gets blown around by the wind when he says I don't mind the leaves that are leaving, But I don't like the ones that are coming.  I don't mind losing 20 lbs in 2.5 months. I just hope the next time I say that I weigh 20.5 lbs less than I did 2.5 months before not just 7. 

Spiritual Thursdays: One Little Word .

 

I am trying to get into the New Year blogging.  So I have decided to participate in Spiritual Journey Thursdays.  It's a first Thursday blog hop that is being hosted this month  by Margaret at Reflections on the Teche. Margaret is part of the Poetry Friday community.  Her theme this month is One Little Word.  

Given the theme I immediately went into full Martin Luther mode and started belting out the third verse of A Mighty Fortress is Our God.  For future reference 10:45 on a weeknight is not the best time for belting out reformation hymns.  At least that's what my wife tells me.  Click here to have it belted out for you by the good folks at Hymnary.

1 A mighty fortress is our God,
a bulwark never failing;
our helper he, amid the flood
of mortal ills prevailing.
For still our ancient foe
does seek to work us woe;
his craft and power are great,
and armed with cruel hate,
on earth is not his equal.

2 Did we in our own strength confide,
our striving would be losing,
were not the right Man on our side,
the Man of God's own choosing.
You ask who that may be?
Christ Jesus, it is he;
Lord Sabaoth his name,
from age to age the same;
and he must win the battle.

3 And though this world, with devils filled,
should threaten to undo us,
we will not fear, for God has willed
his truth to triumph through us.
The prince of darkness grim,
we tremble not for him;
his rage we can endure,
for lo! his doom is sure;
one little word shall fell him.

4 That Word above all earthly powers
no thanks to them abideth;
the Spirit and the gifts are ours
through him who with us sideth.
Let goods and kindred go,
this mortal life also;
the body they may kill:
God's truth abideth still;
his kingdom is forever!

Psalter Hymnal, (Gray), 1987

There is an excellent article from Desiringgod.org entitled 'What "One Little Word" will fell Satan?'  In it, the author speculates what Luther may have meant by what word is being referred to at the end of verse 3.  He states that Luther wrote that the word he meant was "liar." Or at least the German word for liar.  

I can tell you that this makes perfect sense to me.  

Many times in the course of my life I have told myself and believed lies.  The past few months have been a particularly difficult season in what has been a very difficult series of years for me and my family.  

These past months as I alluded to in my Last Poetry Friday submission have been some of my most challenging in my work life.  They have also been extremely taxing in almost every aspect of my life.  

In September my family left a church we had been at for 10 years that never really felt like our home.  We have spent the fall and early winter looking for a new church which has brought both comforts and challenges to us.  

In September on my wife's birthday, I went to visit my Dad in the hospital and was told that day that his leg needed to be amputated. His foot was amputated on that very day.  On my birthday a few weeks later my Mom and I had a phone appointment with a neuropsychologist who diagnosed her  of having some type of dementia, perhaps Alzheimer's.  We cancelled birthdays for a while after that.

Somewhere in that time a part of me snapped.  I didn't notice it at first, but my wife did. I still did all the things you do to get from one day to the other.  I'd been in full on crisis mode before but this was different.  I tell you that even right now I can hardly function  at work or anywhere.  

But I think I am beginning to figure it out.  I've been believing lies.  I've been believing that I am powerless in the train wreck season I've been going through and in reality I've tied myself to the track with those lies.  I have two daughters who both have mental health issues.  My wife and I continually tell them to stop believing lies and tell themselves the truth,  As Tom Hanks's character Jimmy Dugan (sp?) said in A League of Their Own. "That's good advice! 

 John 8:31 through 8:36 says (in the NIV), 

So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; 32and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” 33They answered Him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never yet been enslaved to anyone; how is it that You say, ‘ You will become free’?” 34Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin. 35“The slave does not remain in the house forever; . the son does remain forever. 36“So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed. 

 The truth is that God has been with me every step of this journey. Today I received what I perceived to be a body blow but when I told that perception to my wife, she told me the truth and I decided to believe that truth, then act upon that truth, and pray that truth. This evening what can usually be a very stress filled event was pleasant. When I got home instead of being in a zombie like stupor I was ready for the next thing. I know I'm still many miles away from a new normal but I'm closer than I even imagined I could be on New Years Eve. 

 Love, Dave

For more SJT click HERE

Things Fortnightly

It's time once again for a thing or two or seventeen.

Thing 1: White Sox

I have been blogging about the top 25 labels of my blog for the first 300 posts. Tonights installment is the White Sox they were in a 6 way tie for # 20.

I grew up in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. The NW burbs are Chicago Cubs country. My Mom grew up as a Cubs fan and my Dad followed suit when he moved to the Chicago area. Each summer of my youth we would go to a Cubs game as a family and every few years our school would go to a game.

The White Sox used to have a program where if students had straight A's or perfect attendance they would earn 2 free White Sox Tickets. My older sister earned tickets this way and I remember how she and my Dad went to a Sox Orioles game together. The next year I had perfect attendance and my Dad took me to a game. This is where I fell in love with Bill Melton, Richie Allen, Wilbur Wood, Rich Gossage and the whole Happy Days gang. I still liked the Cubs but they took a backseat to my passion for the White Sox. That was more than 35 years agao and I remember it like it was 28 years ago.

As I am writing this it is actuall Wednesday night and I just came home from a White Sox game. The White Sox still give tickets away and Charlie and another Dad and son went on the White Sox dime. The Sox lost, but we had a wonderful time despite the score. The White Sox have this section called fundamentals where kids can play catch, use batting cages, and a few other cool things. It's like having a theme park within a ball park. Charlie and his friend had a great time.

Today (Thursday) I am heading back to Chicago to see the Sox play again. Lucy scored 2 free tickets and we are going to dog night. Fans actually can bring their dogs to a special section and into the game. In the past I have taken all 3 kids to dog night. Tomorrow is the first game where it is just Lucy and I. I wonder if she will want to play puppy when there are actuall dogs who can do that for us. I am not sure, but I think this is the first time in 30 + years of attending ball games that I have gone to back to back games. I wouldn't mind if we got a win instead of a loss, although Lucy will probaly have just as much fun as Charlie had independent of the result of the game.

Thing # 2. Lucy Dance Revolution.

Lucy had her ballet recital about a week and a half ago. One thing I noticed is the attrition rate of dancers as they get older. Their were 3 classes of pre school dancers of about 20-25students each. There were 2 classed of kindergarten dancers. In the highest level there (jr. high to H.S) there were 6 dancers. I wondered aloud to Amy if Lucy would be one of those 6 10 years or so from now. We think that she might just be. She loves dancing!

Things have changed much in the few years since Emma's first (and only) dance recital. Emma's recital (run through the same park district) was free of charge. We were given 2 free tickets for Lucy's recital and had to pay $5.00 each for every advance ticket and $7.00 at the door. That part was sort of understandable. What I did not get was that no photography of any kind was allowed during the recital. Pictures like the one above were allowed to be taken at the rehearsal the day before. Well guess what? Grandparents don't go to rehearsals! You can't come between the trinity of grandparents, grandchildren and cameras. You don't mess with that!

The only footage taken at the recital was by a professional videographer who was selling the dvds and tapes for 20 big ones. So were photographs and videos not allowed so there would be less commotion at the recital or more ka-ching for the videographer? You tell me!

Thing 3: What's going on next year?

There is a home school conference this weekend that Amy and I usually attend. One of the main things we do there is choose the curriculum for the next calendar year. This is basically the first year that I will be the primary curriculum chooser. Two years ago we were planning on Amy teaching when we picked the curriculum. Last year we went mostly with curriculum we already owned. I am pretty sure of some things we will do this year and totally open on other areas. When I say I am the primary curriculum chooser, that is kind of a misnomer. We generally pick the curriculum together. When Amy was the main teacher, I would defer the final choices to her as she was the one who needed to teach the material. The only difference between now and then is now she would defer that final decision to me.

Thing 4: Reading Update

I started my summer reading last week. I am fully engaged in 3 books right now. Two from home and one from the library. When I read I tend to read more than one book at a time. Between 2 White Sox games, the home school convention and just regular life I'm not sure how much reading I will get in in the next few days. Hopefully some.

Thing 5: No Junk food June?

June is usually a good month in our family to try to eat a little more healthy and to exercise more. I started the month out by going to that most healthy of places, Dairy Queen. Amy had told Charlie that we would go to Dairy Queen after his last soccer practice of the year. This just happened to be on June 1st! Healthy eating will commence a little later in the month.

That's all the things!