60 Years in 60 Days:1970

 1970: Keith 

I was in first grade in 1970.  It was my first year as a full time student as kindergarten back then was a strictly half day affair.  My older sister was in 2nd grade and my younger brother was doing whatever 4 year-olds did back in the early 70's. I don't have any memories when I didn't have both an older sister and a younger brother.

I do have memories before my youngest brother, Keith was born  on veteran's day 1970.  I remember some of kindergarten.  I remember my first day of first grade and I certainly remember walking home from school that day in Mid November when my Mom was coming home from the hospital with Keith.

I also sadly have many memories of life without my baby brother.  He died a little more than 14 1/2 years ago.  An event that is very well chronicled on this blog. This is the fifteenth birthday we have celebrated without him. 

 By the time Keith was starting first grade, I was starting 7th grade.  Because of the age difference we weren't all that close growing up.  He started high school when I was in college living at home and volunteering in the same high school youth group I had been in while in school.  He starting attending that youth group and we spent quite a bit of time together because of that. As a result we became closer and even though we weren't exactly super tight, he was probably the relative I was closest with.

In 1987, the year I left home to reinvent myself, Keith started his senior year of high school. Over Spring Break that year he had his first hospitalization due to mental illness.  This was the beginning of his road to a Bi-polar diagnosis.  I think back then they just called it a nervous breakdown.

That Fall he did go away to school, actually pretty close to where I had landed and he spent his first two semesters of college the farthest he ever lived away from my parents.  The next year He went back home to a local junior college and started to find his own way. While there he met the woman he would eventually marry and he got married before either of his older brothers.

Keith eventually graduated from college and began graduate school but never completed it.  I think the only job he ever had was at McDonalds, but he always worked hard and he always took care of his family, And I never met someone who loved his kids more fiercely than Keith did.  

Some Friday night in the summer of 2006, I was at an outdoor movie night at a local park with my family.  My cell phone rang, it was my Dad.  Keith was sick, He had only 10 % use of his heart and his kidney function was at the same rate.  Within a week, he was getting treated at the Mayo Clinic.  

His kidneys were shot because of the lithium he took for his bi-polar, but we never discovered what happened with his heart. From 2006 to April 2008 Keith's life developed into a consistent pattern.  He'd be hospitalized he'd then go to a nursing home (one of the only 30 somethings in the joint) then go back home far a month or two and then he'd be hospitalized again  because either his heart medicine was creating problems for his kidneys or his kidney medicine was messing with the bi-polar or any other such permutation. rinse, lather, repeat.  

Keith loved trivia, especially Jeopardy. He was an excellent chess player and  loved all kind of puzzles especially those in Games magazine.  I am sure, he would have been great at current games, like Wordle and Nerdle. 

Keith died at the age of 38 so I always think of him as 38. Or I think of him at 27, when he got married.  Or I think of him at 30 when his son Robert was born.  Or I think of him ay 32 when his daughter Sarah arrived. Or at the age of 22 when he visited me in Russia and said of my filing system, "A place for everything and everything on the floor." Or at the age of 17 when I saw him graduate high school at the old Poplar Creek concert venue. Or playing tee ball at the age of 7 or 8.  Or at the age of a few days, that November day on 1970 when he came home from the hospital.  I guess I remember him a lot.  I miss him even more.

60 years In 60 days: 1965

 I was born in 1964.  I turned 1 in 1965.  I don't have any memories of life in 1965.What I do know is that  my sister turned 2 in June , I turned 1 in September at the time that my Mom was pregnant with my younger brother who was born in March of 1966.  By the end of 1965 My Das  was 27, my Mom was 26, my sister 2 and I was one.  .  I am now 59 years old so I am older now than the combined age of my entire family in 1965.

 

60 Years in 60 Days: 1989

 In The Spring of 1989 I took a class, I forget what the actual name and course # was but the gist was that it was the course where education majors got their pre-student teaching experience.  Over the course of the semester you travel to a school,  are assigned a teacher and a class room and you observe  and assist in the class room culminating in preparing and giving a lesson essentially being teacher for a day.  I forgot how many visits it was it was either 6 0r 12 in a 6 week period.  

I got to know the students pretty well, and one of them was going to be in a local theater play.  I told him that I would attend.  Back than my wardrobe was pretty exclusively jeans t-shirts and I had a pretty good sweater collection.  I had one suit and a few dress shirts and a couple pairs of slacks.  Each day I would go to school,  I would wear the same outfit, my suit.  I would then go back to the dorm and put it away until the next class.  When I went to the play I was wearing my regular out fit of Jeans, Turtle Neck and Sweater.  

The play was really good.  It was Agatha Christies Mouse Trap and my student did an excellent job.  I went up to him after the show and the first thing this kid (who by my math is now 50ish) says to me: "Mr. Roller, You're in civilian clothes!"

I was thinking of that story today, because my youngest daughter has a starring part in her school play.  I wore Jeans and the show t.shirt to school today and wore the same thing to the production.  I don't think I've ever worn a suit to teach school.  I guess I just wear civilian clothes.  

60 Years In 60 Days 1993

1993 Foreign Soil.

From Late 1992 to Late 1994 I lived in Russia. 1993 was the only year in my life that I was not in the United States at all.  I embraced life in Russia and did not have much culture shock at all,  It wasn't until I got home that I realized the impact of missing an entire year of American culture.  I was able to keep up with the really important things like the Bulls Threepeat.  I heard most of the major developments.  

But even as recently as this week when I was watching Dave with relatives. Someone asked what year it came out and I didn't know.  I can usually recall the year a movie came out by remembering what was going when I saw it.  For example, I remember  Ferris Buellers Day off came out in 1986 because I watched it with fellow camp counselors from Camp Manitoqua and I worked at Camp Manic Toga in the summer of 86.  I remember Ordinary People came out in 1980 because we were reading the book in my sophomore English class and the class took a field trip to go see it.  Dave came out in 1993.  I didn't see it in the theatre so I have no reference point to the year.

The same is true about sports, t.v. and news of that period.  In the 30 years since I've come home from Russia there have been multiple gaps in my shared experiences with others because of the disparity of our 1993s

Don't misunderstand me.  This is not a bad thing,  It's been kind of like found money. On Spotify I am often discovering albums that came out in 1993 or 1994 that I never was aware of and enjoy discovering them 30 years later.

My years in Russia were the best 2 years of my life to that point.  I made lasting friendships, did worthwhile work, and was stretched in many ways.  I may not have been in the U.S. in 1993 but I certainly had found a home.  

60 Years in 60 Days 2013

 

2013: The Beginning of the year of limericks

I turned 49 in the year 2013.  I remember going with my wife and kids to the Cook County forest preserve in Elk Grove where there is actually, wait for it, a grove of elk.  We were hanging out watching elk, climbing trees, and having all kind of birthday fun when an idea came to me.  For the rest of the year, I would write a limerick each day and post it on Facebook for all  to see.  

Eventually the task got a little much for me and I did not write 365 limericks that year, but I wrote well over 200.  While my limericks never quite went viral, I am sure a few of them made a number of  my friends, family and acquaintances sick.

The year of limericks was a bit of a turning point for me in a few ways:

While I have dabbled in poetry along with other kinds of writing and studied poetry while obtaining a degree in English, I never considered myself more than an occasional  poet.  The limerick experimented jump started this part of my writing.

Facebook has become a curator of my limericks.  Thanks to Facebook memories my limericks from 2013-2014 pop up on the anniversary of the day I wrote them.  The November 7th 2013 popped up again today.  It is about knock knock jokes.  

While knock knock who's there jokes are lawful 

A lot of them are just plain awful 

When you knock knock who's there 

You best be aware 

There is such a thing as a doorbell.

60 Years In Sixty Days:1997

 1997: She Said Sure 

1997 was a year of great change for me. I started the year miserable and lonely.  Which is a line from the movie Marty.  But I  had not yet seen the movie Marty, which is a pretty good reason to be miserable, but I had others. 

I was living in a different state than I am now.  A state of  habitual sin.  A state of unfulfilled desire. A state of deep regret.  A state of hopelessness.  I mean South Carolinas not the bad, you can play tennis year round but I wasn't nearly the man I wanted to be and I was doing nothing to change.

A friend sought me out and offered me the hope of real change.  As I started to work through my issues and allow God to change me from the inside out.  I discovered something.  I discovered someone.

I had a friend in a different state.  She was in a state of healing.  A state of awareness.  A state of discovery,  She was changing in Illinois while I was changing in South Carolina.

W e had been friend for going on 7 years.  Everyone else noticed that we were meant for each other.  But we were oblivious.  Why would I date her? I would ask, she's my best friend.  Then one Day I said I should court her, she's my best friend.

She flew down for Spring Break and it was clear that courting was like friendship with help.  By the time Spring Break was over I knew and put an emerald engagement ring on layaway.  

In July I moved back to Illinois with marriage on my mind.   .  When I earned enough to pay for the ring I asked her parent for permission to marry their daughter. They said yes and I made reservations at a fancy restaurant for the proposal.

After Spring Break I had written lyrics for a proposal  and gave it to a friend who had written music for other songs I had written.  About the same time I got the ring paid off,  he sent me the  cassette with the song on it.  I asked a H.S. senior from our youth group to accompany me at a fancy restaurant.  On the big night, he chickened out.  So instead of bringing an accompanist  ala Breaking Away.  I brought in a cassette player ala Say Anything.

I was so nervous.  I could hardly eat dinner.  Because I knew I was going to propose. I turned on the tape player and began to sing:

It's A beautiful night

Your a beautiful girl

I thank God for the day 

That you brightened my world

The song continued and when I ended with the title question Will You Marry Me My Darling?, Amy was unsure of what just happened.

/I had a  habit and still do of showing all my poems, songs and writings to Amy to see if they are any good.  She must have thought that's what I was doing.  

"Is that what you are going to sing when you propose?" She inquired.

"This is me, proposing," I replied.

So she said, sure.

After which, she took out a piece of paper from her purse of all the ways she had known that I was going to propose that night.  It turns out that since I had telegraphed my intentions, that she also was very nervous and didn't eat much of her dinner either.  So our first official act as an engaged couple was to go to Denny's and have another dinner.

We got engaged 26 years ago this month.  We have been through many changes since then but I'll always remember 1997 as the year God changed two people and led them to the path of being one couple.
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