SOULMATES 34 years and recounting.

Here are the prompts for this week’s Writer’s Workshop: 

1.  Write a post based on the word soulmates. 
2. Write a post in exactly 8 sentences. 
3. Post photos of your Halloween costume or your (grand)child(ren)’s costume(s). 
4. Make a list of things you have planned for November. 
5. List the top ten songs that you never want to hear again, and why. 
6. Write an essay entitled “Giving a child an unusual name is a bad idea.”

I chose #1. I decided to write an Acrostic essay about my soulmate and best friend who is also my wife of 65 years.  (We've only completed 26 so far.)

Suited to one another? I met Amy in the fall of 1990. I was 25 and she was 21.  I was returning to the WIU campus after having to take the semester off for academic reasons.  She had just graduated from Northern Illinois University that Spring and was starting graduate school in Macomb. 

Our paths meet. She decided to go to the year's first large-group meeting of Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship which met on the 2nd floor of the student union.  I believe the meeting was held in the Fox Room.  A majority of our meetings were held in that particular room.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, our meeting at the Fox Room (if it was the Fox Room), was not the first time Amy encountered me.  She had gotten to the Student Union early that night and was studying at the Hardees when she spotted me waiting in line to order. She thought to herself, self, that the guy in the ball cap stroking his chin and pondering what type of Hardee’s  fare he will consume tonight is just the kind of guy who is likely to be at this meeting tonight.

Lisle, Illinois is where Amy said she was from when I introduced myself to her at the I-V meeting.  It turned out her hunch was right I was one of the students on the exec committee for our chapter and introduced myself to all the newcomers that night.  It also turned out that Lisle was where my grandparents lived.

Many things in common. Besides Lisle, it turned out that Amy and I shared quite a few similarities.  We were both from families with 5 children.  Our fathers were both the oldest of 7 children.  We were both raised Catholic and we both became disillusioned with that faith when our Parish priests came into our Parochial schools in 7th grade to tell us that not all of the Bible was true.

A Friendship quickly blossomed. We were inseparable.  Because I did not have a car at school and because we lived in suburbs near each other we drove back to the Chicago area on holidays and vacations.  We both enjoyed watching and playing sports and so many other things.  Whether at school or back at home we spent most of our free time together.

Time Passed as it always does.  She was the closest friend I ever had.  But life outside of university beckoned us both and we began to make our way in the wide world.  We talked on the phone,  exchanged letters and tapes over the years,  and spent as much time together when we were in the same time zone. Many people began to realize that there was something between us beyond friendship.  If there was we were oblivious to that notion.  

Eventually, we realized what others had already figured out.  We loved each other, and one night in February of 1997 on AOL of all things, I got the memo that the Godly wife I had almost given up on finding was the same person who had sized me up at Hardees all those years before,

Soulmates? Certainly, but the best kind. Best friends who fell in love and never stopped being best friends.

Thanks to John Holton for hosting the Writers Workshop at The Sound of One Hand Typing.

Poetry Alive 2024

In late December 2022, my daughter told me about  a poetry group that  met the first Monday of the month.  She and I went in January both enjoyed it so we have been attending ever since.  The group meets both in person ad remotely.  Emma and I have only attended in person so far.

The structure of the group is that the poets share any poems they are working on the the moderator leads us through the theme of the week and then gives us a prompt to work on.  After the group is finished composing, they share the work they just completed.  n

In 2023 several poets shared one poem about Elgin, the city I live in, o Valentines Day. Our group was asked to participate in that.  In April of last year we all participated in a event called Poetry Alive where we all read several of our poems at a  public meeting.  My daughter chose not to participate last year i the event but went with the rest of our family to see me read.

Many of the poems I have submitted for Poetry Friday have bee written during or shared at our monthly poetry meetings .  For today's Poetry Friday I would like to present the You Tube video of the 2024 Poetry Alive presentation.  This year Emma participated as well.  We are the 2nd and 3rd poets.  There were 4 rounds of recitations.  Poetry Alive 2024 took place on the night of my 26th wedding anniversary, so in honor of the occasion, I adapted a song I wrote for her into a poem and recited it in the third round.Poetry Friday is hosted this week by Linda Mitchell at A Word Edgewise. 

A To Z 2024: J is for Just Married (26 Years Ago)

For The A to Z Challenge this year, I am focusing on everyday holidays. Each day there are multiple unusual things to celebrate.  Every day of the challenge I look for an event taking place that day and pair it with the letter of the day.  I have also made up 5 holidays to coincide with the vowel days of the challenge.  At the end of each post I will share a special song of the day for that day's letter.  At the end of the month, these songs will be assembled in a to z keepsake playlist on Spotify.  Every day is a celebration, let's unwrap today's together. 

April 11th is Dave and Amy Roller's wedding anniversary.

I was trying to justify not pulling a random holiday from the April 11th list and just writing about my wedding anniversary when I realized there is no justification needed.  The 3rd sentence in the above paragraph says it all, " Every day of the challenge I look for an event taking place that day and pair it with the letter of the day." My anniversary is an event taking place today and my titling the post Just Married (26 years ago), I have, in the words of Paul Hollywood, ticked all the boxes.

Yesterday morning my daughter was getting ready for her writing class at the same time I was getting ready for school.  She went towards the door and then came back saying, she had forgotten her glasses. Before I could stop myself I blurted out the line, "He can't see without his glasses". 

This is a line from the 1991 movie "My Girl".  My son recites this line quite a bit. A, because he like's to make fun of it and B, because it annoys his sisters.  If you've ever been  a brother or a sister you don't need me to say, not necessarily in that order.

As I was driving to work, while ruminating on that film, a memory popped in my head from almost 33 years ago when that film was in theatres.  At the time I was in a long distance relationship, and because it was the winter Holidays we were both in the Chicago area where our families both lived .  

We went to the Woodfield Mall to see the aforementioned film.  After the film I remember telling her on an escalator talking about the film and in that context  said something about wanting to grow old with her, (my girlfriend).  I don't know which direction we were on in the escalator, but things started going downhill after that. Because, shortly after I made that comment to her we were broken up, and I'm not sure but I don't think I even saw her again after that.

I remember going back to my parents house and calling up my best friend and spilling  all the  sordid details.  You ever have a friend you could tell anything, do anything with, share your secrets and keep theirs?  That's what I had with my best friend back in January of 1992.  26 years ago today I married her.

Lots has changed since I saw My Girl with someone who out turned out not to be my girl at all.  Woodfield Mall no longer has movie theatres, My parents no longer live at my boyhood home, I no longer need to use a landline to call my best friend, cause quite often we are together and when were not I just tell my phone to call her.  

But Amy and I are growing old together.  As Rowlf the Dog sang so eloquently in 1979, "The urge was righteous but the face was wrong."  But in my case something better didn't come along, she had been there all along.  

Amy and I love movies.  We watch them, re watch them, quote them, and watch them again.  One movie we enjoy is The Wedding Singer, a movie about friends who fell in love, like us.  In the final scene he confesses his love in a song he wrote called "Grow Old With You."

Songs also play a part of our friendship.  When I was living in Russia, I once wrote her a song about our friendship which is really a love song, we just didn't know it yet.  I wrote her another song and sang it for her as I proposed.  I wrote another song and a choir from our church sang it as we walked down the aisle after we had just been declared man and wife.  

.

Our marriage is not perfect.  A few years ago we read a book together, called "When Sinner's say I do". The basic premise imperfect people cannot have a perfect relationship.  I certainly am not perfect.  She tells me she's not perfect, so I believe her.  She is certainly the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.  This August we will celebrate 34 years of friendship.  Each day I grow older with my dear friend Amy is worthy of a celebration. Not just a celebration, but each day with Amy is a Holiday in itself.  

  *******************************************************************************

Today's song of the day is Jack and Jill Part II by the Gray Havens

I chose the songs for the A to Z playlist this February and March, and just decided today that I was going to write about Amy and Myself for J.  So I didn't really plan a connection between the holiday and the song of the day.  It turns out there is one, but it's very slight.  After Amy and I were married for a couple years, we moved into our first house and preceded to have our 2nd and third child.  During that time we were attending a church that met at Crystal Lake South High School.  I don't know if you've ever attended a church at a  school before.  I have on several occasions.  One thing that happens is all the accoutrements of the school for the most part stay right where they are even on Sunday.  So over the years we saw many homecoming posters and other things on the wall of our "church building".  One such poster was celebrating the fact that one of their seniors had just made it into the top 20 of Season 5 of American Idol.

This young man, David Radford, would later become part of the folk duo, The Gray Havens along with his wife  Licia.  Like I said it's a slight connection.  The Spotify playlist is big enough now to have a top 10.  

Yes as far as Holidays are concerned, the anniversary of the day I married my best friend is a pretty big one.  Feel free to comment and tell me about your love story if you care to.  

To go to the home of the A to Z challenge click here, to see the 2024 master list of participating blogs click here. Enjoy the 2024 A to Z challenge, and Happy Holidays!

Do What I Did - Valentine's Day Advice

Poetry Friday is upon us once again. It is at Reflections On The Teche this week. I am entering this post from Valentines Day.

 

If You Want Your Love Story

To Have A Happy End

Do What I Did

Marry Your Best Friend

 

If A Diamond

Isn’t Really Her Thing

Do What I Did

Buy An Emerald Ring

 

If Your Fiancée

Doesn’t Need A Lot of Folks

To See Her Wed

Don’t Do What I Did

Just Elope Instead

 

26 Years Ago This Valentine’s Day

We Got Our Marriage License

And I’m Here To Say

I’m So Glad I Married My Best Friend

I Did What I Did

And I’d Do It Again

I wrote this earlier this month based on a prompt at my poetry group.  I gave it to Amy on Valentine's day.  Each time I read it I'm reminded of the work OF P.D. Eastman.  This is probably because I think MY NEST IS BEST because of the bird I share it with.

For More Poetry Friday click here.

60 Years In Sixty Days:1997

 1997: She Said Sure 

1997 was a year of great change for me. I started the year miserable and lonely.  Which is a line from the movie Marty.  But I  had not yet seen the movie Marty, which is a pretty good reason to be miserable, but I had others. 

I was living in a different state than I am now.  A state of  habitual sin.  A state of unfulfilled desire. A state of deep regret.  A state of hopelessness.  I mean South Carolinas not the bad, you can play tennis year round but I wasn't nearly the man I wanted to be and I was doing nothing to change.

A friend sought me out and offered me the hope of real change.  As I started to work through my issues and allow God to change me from the inside out.  I discovered something.  I discovered someone.

I had a friend in a different state.  She was in a state of healing.  A state of awareness.  A state of discovery,  She was changing in Illinois while I was changing in South Carolina.

W e had been friend for going on 7 years.  Everyone else noticed that we were meant for each other.  But we were oblivious.  Why would I date her? I would ask, she's my best friend.  Then one Day I said I should court her, she's my best friend.

She flew down for Spring Break and it was clear that courting was like friendship with help.  By the time Spring Break was over I knew and put an emerald engagement ring on layaway.  

In July I moved back to Illinois with marriage on my mind.   .  When I earned enough to pay for the ring I asked her parent for permission to marry their daughter. They said yes and I made reservations at a fancy restaurant for the proposal.

After Spring Break I had written lyrics for a proposal  and gave it to a friend who had written music for other songs I had written.  About the same time I got the ring paid off,  he sent me the  cassette with the song on it.  I asked a H.S. senior from our youth group to accompany me at a fancy restaurant.  On the big night, he chickened out.  So instead of bringing an accompanist  ala Breaking Away.  I brought in a cassette player ala Say Anything.

I was so nervous.  I could hardly eat dinner.  Because I knew I was going to propose. I turned on the tape player and began to sing:

It's A beautiful night

Your a beautiful girl

I thank God for the day 

That you brightened my world

The song continued and when I ended with the title question Will You Marry Me My Darling?, Amy was unsure of what just happened.

/I had a  habit and still do of showing all my poems, songs and writings to Amy to see if they are any good.  She must have thought that's what I was doing.  

"Is that what you are going to sing when you propose?" She inquired.

"This is me, proposing," I replied.

So she said, sure.

After which, she took out a piece of paper from her purse of all the ways she had known that I was going to propose that night.  It turns out that since I had telegraphed my intentions, that she also was very nervous and didn't eat much of her dinner either.  So our first official act as an engaged couple was to go to Denny's and have another dinner.

We got engaged 26 years ago this month.  We have been through many changes since then but I'll always remember 1997 as the year God changed two people and led them to the path of being one couple.
"

                                             

June Stats

 June was a big month for me.  My wife and I went on a trip to Greece.  We left the Chicago area on June 6th and did  not return until June 21st.  It certainly was a trip of a lifetime and an amazing wat to celebrate 25 years of marriage to my best friend.  

It was not a big month in regards to blog output.  I put out 2 posts prior to our trip and exactly 2 more after we got home.  Last June I posted 19 times before posting only 16 times for the rest of the year.  I finished 2022 with 102 posts on the strength of my April A to Z posts.  If I only achieve 16 posts again in the 2nd part of 2023, I will finish with 2 posts  less than 100 for the year.  When May ended I was on track for 178 posts, with only 4 last month my projection is down to 164 by New Years Eve 2023. The problem is,  if I match my  16 posts  from the 2nd half of 2022 this year I won't get near 164 and not even break 100 by years end.  

No need for doom and or gloom.  I am a man with a plan.  Starting on July 6th, I plan to chronicle my trip to Greece with a daily recap a month late.  I did the same thing years ago when our family went to Washington D.C. If I am successful, I'll finish July right around 100 posts and be back in a posting groove.  

By brunobarbato, CC BY 3.0, Linkity: Prodromos 

Island: Paros

Country: Greece

I was in this city on a hike, but don't remember seeing this.  More coming soon.  

She's A Wonderful Wife

 I have a routine when it comes to my A to Z  challenge posts. I schedule the time of the post for the date of the post.  For example, today is April 11th or numerically 4/11 so I would generally schedule my post for 4:11 a.m. so people could see it as they were checking their computers in the morning.  

This by the way is not an A to Z post but I am posting this at 4:11 in the morning because April 11th is a very significant day in my life.  It is the day I married my wife Amy. Today is almost as significant as that day as it is our 25th wedding anniversary.

I have scheduled my A to Z post at 4:11 p.m. It talks about my favorite movie It's A Wonderful Life.

In that film, the main character gets a glimpse of what life might have been like if he was never born and gets to realize what a wonderful life he had.

In December of 2005, our 3rd and final child was born and 2 days after they were released from the hospital I rushed Amy to the emergency room.  They did tests and her heart was working at 10% capacity.  I remember driving back from the emergency room to my house with 3 children between the ages of 3 days and 6 years old and I got a glimpse of what my life might look like If Amy was gone.  I prayed on the way home and asked God to restore her to health.

Thankfully  Amy was back to 100% use of her heart and her kidneys and was home to our family in a few short days. We were never given an adequate reason for the occurrence but we believe it was due to a lack of proper hydration after the C-section. 

I really didn't need an angel to show me the worth of my wife.  We were best friends for 8 years before she signed the Marry Dave Agreement. She takes the best care of me and our children.  Often preparing and perfecting foods for us that she doesn't even like to eat.  While she is just a sinner that said I Do, she is a loving, Godly influencer on me and our children.  

I have had the opportunity in the past 5 years to substitute teach in the same building where she works as a school psychologist.  I have never seen anyone take their job so seriously and still love on the children and show compassion and concern to the teachers, administration, and parents. We also have worked side by side the last 2 summers working concessions at a ballpark where she would bring sunshine even in a two-hour rain delay. 

So you see she really is a wonderful wife.  Happy Anniversary Amy.  You really do complete me.

I is for Illinois, Ibanez and Imago

 Good morning  and welcome to  a new week  of the A to Z challenge. This year I chose 3 themes for the challenge: Limericks, MLB sluggers in my lifetime, and A to Z wordles. For more information about these themes click here. 

Part I: A to Z Limericks

If me, you want to annoy

Go ahead mispronounce Illinois

Please be compliant

Let the s remain silent

And no, I am not being coy

The first 4 lines of that limerick stayed on my open computer screen all night as I could not think of an adequate final line.  This morning I asked my wife who volunteered the closer.  Thanks Amy. How fitting that the limerick dropping on our 24th wedding anniversary  shows yet another example of how wonderful it is to be on a team with you.

Part II: A to Z Homerun hitters of my lifetime

When I was thinking which homer smasher I would choose for the letter I.  I did not immediately think of Raul Ibanez.  I immideiately thought of Jason Isringhausen, forgetting for a moment he was   and gave up far more homers (85 in a 16 year career) than he hit (2).  My thoughts then went to Pete Incaviglia for a moment before settling on Ivan (Pudge) Rodriguez. With 311 dingers, Pudge does have more homers than any other I player.  I was pretty settled on I-Rod when I did a little more stat surfing.

In the period between 1988 and 1999 Incaviglia hit 149 bombs. Pudge only hit 109.  In the period of 2000 through 2010 Rodriguez hit 161 homers while Raul Ibanez slammed 204 (99 for the Mariners, 55 for the Royals, and 50 with the Phillies ). That means that I-Rod was the I with the most homers in either time period.  Ibanez hit only 6 less (305) career homers than I-Rod so I decided to give not to Raul.

Part III: Wordle Starting Words from A to Z

Note: Correct letters in the correct places will be shown in bold. Correct letters in incorrect places will be shown in italics.

In March when I was going alphabetically to pick my opening wordle words some were just random, and some held a great bit of meaning to me. Imago was one of the latter.

For several years my family and I went to the local college film festival called the Imago Film Festival click  on Wikipedia for more information about this festival.

I M A G O - Got M and O but in wrong places.

M O U N D-  M and O were correctly placed on my 2nd guess and I added n as well.

M O R O N- I felt a little like a moron not getting any more info from my 3rd guess as I did on my 2nd. 

M O N E Y -Throwing money on your problems, doesn't always solve them.  This maxim came true on guess 4, but I did get my N in the right place.

M O N K S - 5th guess got me no further than the fourth.

M O N T H - This was not the only 6 guess wordle I have had.  But it's the only one that took me a month to get.

For more A to Z challenge click here.  

Allen Levi Concert in reverse song # 6 Anywhere close to you

Today is January 28th and there are 5 more songs left in the Allen Levi Concert in reverse. Let me see if we can get them out here and begin the concert by February. first. His introduction islonger than the song itself but what an introduction it is! The song is ggreat too and I dedicate it to my wife and I certainly echoe the sentiment.

The Six Word Saturday in Question

It's Saturday (well it's actually very late on Friday but by the time I am done writing this, it will be Saturday.) and time once again for Six Word Saturday at Show My Face Dot Com.  I have decided to use my six words to ask you readers a question.

Here goes .. .

Do you ever break into song?

The other day we learned that a   friend of ours told his wife that he doesn't believe that people ever actually break into song.  My wife quickly  replied that at our house it happens all the time.  Neither Amy nor
 myself will ever be confused with champion crooners.  I can carry a tune in a bucket, but I generally have a better use for the bucket, so the tune suffers.  This doesn't stop us or the kids from spontaneously combusting a tune on a frequent basis.

I grew up in a family that  would break into song at the drop of hat.  When my musical talent was discovered 
it was discovered I had no musical talent, they just made sure that no hats were dropped near me.  In the family we are raising our children , the hats fall with abandon.  We make up songs, make up new lyrics to old songs or just sing it the regular way.

So my question in an I like New York in June fashion, is
how about you?

What are your thought about breaking into song and entering into melody?

To answer my Six Word Inquiry, leave a comment.  To See More Six word entries click here.

Happy Anniversary

 

AS IN J JUMP JOYFUL JUMBLE

Today is my 14th wedding anniversary.  Yes 14 years today I woke up as a single man and went to bed as a married man.  There has been good and bad in my life since that day.  But the truth is that our life really has been a joyful jumble. 

I found out that the traditional 14th anniversary gift is Ivory while the modern 14th gift is gold.  Both these songs are golden oldies and notice that Barney is tickling the ivories in the video below. 


Happy Anniversary Amy, I heart you big time. 

Change of Face

Puppy has been obsessed with the beginning of Spring for almost a month now. Each morning she checks her calendar and announces how many days until Spring.



In honor of the start of Spring tomorrow I decided to shave of my beard. As you may recall, I grew my present beard because my having facial hair was a previous obsession of hers.



So, after dinner and a pleasant stroll with my beloved Amy, I transformed myself from this to this

This

To This

Comparison Shopping during the Holidays

Christmas time is a great time for catching up with people you haven't seen for a while.  This is done through family get-togethers, parties and Christmas cards.  Sometimes after reading other people's Christmas  letters, I get a feeling of paling in comparison.  Earlier this week after reading about how great some of my relatives lives are going I became noticeably melancholy.

At least noticeable to my wife, who spent a few minutes working  at the computer and then handed me a sheet of paper.  The sheet had all the things our family had done in  2011 written on it.  At first I didn't know why she had done it.  It seemed too late to be thinking about sending out a Christmas letter of our own. 

So I asked her why she had done it.She said to remind you of all the great things we have accomplished this year under your leadership.  I have that list on my computer's hard drive now and will pull it up the next time a Christmas greeting has me questioning my worth.

I am so thankful for a wife who will stop what she is doing just to pick up my spirits.

Calculating Milestones in Days.

Every once in a while here in blogworld, someone will write a post about some sort of milestone in their lives (i.e. birthday, anniversary etc.) and make a comment about the exact # of days they have been alive or married or whatever. The problem is, each time I have read such a comment, the exact number of days has been incorrect.

Let me give you an example of what I mean. Let's say someone is celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary today. That means they were married December 18th, 1986. Perhaps they want to post about it. They might take out a calculator and multiply 365 by 25 and get a product of  9125 days. They might say we've been married 9125 days today.

That is not correct.

There are 2 mistakes that are being made. 1 is obvious and 1 not so obvious. Actually, both are obvious to me. Let's see if either one is obvious to you.

First, a little thing I like to call Lauren's birthday. Lauren is a sweet girl in our co-op. She has had 2 birthdays, and will have her third next year. The thing is, Lauren's 11. That's right, her birthday is on Leap Day.  The above calculation did not take into account the  extra day every 4 years that leap year produces.

The next mistake is based on the method used for counting days. Let's say you were born at 11:00 p,m. today. At midnight, it is the next day, and although you have been alive for 1 hour, you have lived on 2 different days.

This is the mistake I see people make when they are counting days by year. They don't count the day of the event they are commemorating. For example, I was born on 9/23/64. On 9/23/65 I had lived in all or some of 366 days, not 365.

If you are not totally confused already, let me teach you a sure fire method of counting the exact number of days (including parts of the 1st and last day) that you are commemorating. If you are totally confused, go do a Charlie Brown: pound your head against a tree, and say I can't stand it. You could also, as Amy is apt to point out,  do a Miss Piggy and say, "I don't understand any of this."   I'll wait.

Welcome back those of you returning from the tree, or your Miss Piggy impersonation.

In order to calculate the exact amount of days you have been involved in something, you need to know 2 things:

1) The current day.
2) The date you are counting from.
3) How many days are in each month. (access to a calendar will suffice.)

Here's our test case:

Amy and I were married on Apri l 11th 1998.

I want to know how many days (full and partial) we have been married, here is what I do . . .

1) Starting with April 11th 1998 I count out 4 year periods as 1461 days (365 per year times 4 plus one leap day.

April 11th 1998 - April 10th 2002 1461
April 11th 2002 - April 10th 2006 1461
April 11th 2006 - April 10th 2010 1461

2) Since April 10th 2010 is less than 4 years before today, I count out years as 365 days, unless there was a leap day and then I count it as 366.

April 11th 1998 - April 10th 2002 1461
April 11th 2002 - April 10th 2006 1461
April 11th 2006 - April 10th 2010 1461
April 11th 2010- April 11th 2011 365

3) When I get to where there is less than a year left til the current date, I just count out the remaining days by months. This includes the rest of April 2011 and the days that have taken place so far this month..

There are 30 days in April and I have already accounted for the first 10 in 2011. This means there are 20 more to put in our rendering. Today is December 18th. So the amount of days Amy and I have been married can be tallied like this:

April 11th 1998 - April 10th 2002                         1461

April 11th 2002 - April 10th 2006                         1461

April 11th 2006 - April 10th 2010                         1461

April 11th 2010- April 11th 2011                            365

April 11th 2011 - April 30th 2011                             20
May 2011                                                                 31
June 2011                                                                 30
Ju;y 2011                                                                  31
Aigust 2011                                                               31
September 2011                                                        30
October 2011                                                            31
November 2011                                                        30
December 1st to Dec 18 2011                                   18

4) Add all the numbers together

1461
1461
1461
0365
0020
0031
0030
0031
0031
0030
0031
0030
0018
5000


That means that as of today Amy and I have been married 5000 days. Wow, imagine that! The day I picked to do a tutorial on calculating milestones, was actually a milestone itself. I think I'll take her out to celebrate. Actually, I have been using this calculation for years and chose today because it is our 5000th day of marriage.  I am taking Amy on a secret surprise date to commemorate the occasion.

This explanation serves 3 purposes

1) The next time someone posts about blogging for 3650 days when they have actually been at it 3653, I will simply send them the link to this post.

2) To communicate to you what Amy has been putting up with  for 5000 days.

3) To commemorate an average day as a momentous occasion for the woman I love. I am touched by the holiday symmetry of this occasion. Our first day of marriage was the Saturday prior to Easter in 1998. Today, Day 5000, is a week before Christmas 2011. Amy is a lot like Mary Poppins, in that every day is a Jolly Holiday with her.

Six Word Rewind

This week I showed my face in the blogosphere after a month long absence. What better place to get back in the swing of things than participating in Six Word Saturday @ShowMYfaceDOTcom?

My Six Words:

They (Still) Drive Me Crazy Sometimes
About a month into my blog, I started sharing poems I wrote here. The first time out I was all ready to put out a poem I had written 10 years prior. I decided at the last minute to write an new one instead. Here is what happened . .

Original Air date February 2009

I, like many people, am a closet poet. That is where my poems remain, in a drawer, next to the closet. From time to time I am going to pull one out of that drawer and share it here. This time to show I am not merely a former poet, I will present one I wrote only hours ago.

They Drive me Crazy Sometimes

She drives me crazy sometimes
Who can win an argument with an amnesiac?
But, no one gets me like she does
She makes our house a haven
And, only laughs when my jokes are funny.

She drives me crazy sometimes
Who made her the third parent, anyways?
But, beneath that bossy boiler
Lies an artist's soul
Skipping and humming. Playful and loving.

He drives me crazy sometimes.
Who can have that many questions about Star Wars?!?
But, he is as adventurous as a pirate.
As giving as Robin Hood.
And as resourceful as Macgyver.

She drives me crazy sometimes
Who wants to be a puppy every single day?
But, she makes cuteness an art form
She's a three year old thesaurus
And she loves to ask God to help people.

They drive me crazy sometimes
But, isn't it worth the trip?

Meanwhile back in 2011. The family still drives me crazy on a somewhat frequentamente basis. Puppy has branched off and is now imagining herself as other animals. Today she was part wolf part tiger. In almost 2 years time they still have the same strengths and weaknesses. Being part and parcel of their family is still worth any craziness endured.

In the past 2 years more of my poetry has surfaced. You can check them all out by clicking here.

Speaking of clicking, click here to return to Six Word Saturday.

Next Time: Don't Know Much About History - A Review

Alzheimers: The tale of two Robertsons

As a rule, I don't pay a lot of attention to Evangelist/Talk Show Host/Politician Pat Robertson. This week, however, he got my attention when he answered this question from a viewer . . .



Robertson's comments are the beginning of a slippery slope of ethical issues that can confront a marriage. People change in marriage even when there is not a physical cause for the change. I am a much different person than I was 13 years ago and possibly not the man Amy thought I would become. When I got married, I thought I would be at the company I was working at until I retired, much like my Dad did before me. But 5 years ago I lost that job which led to the journey I am now as the primary home educator of the family.


His phrase Alzheimer's is a kind of death is a chilling one. You could replace Alzheimer's with mental illness, Lou Gehrig's disease, cancer and even joblessness if you wanted. While all of these change a marriage and often not for the better, they are not a reason for divorce.


A different perspective comes from the example of Robertson McQuilkin who was president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary (Now Columbia International University, which I attended in 1995). In 1981 his wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

His decision was to retire from public life including his president ship of CIU in order to care for his wife. Listen to his resignation speech. It is a rebuttal to Pat Robertson's response. Except it was delivered 2 decades before Robertson. It is the Godly response of a man who so obviously loved his wife.





Mcquikin gave that speech in 1990 and took care of his wife from then until her death in 2003.


His phrase "it's not I have to, but I get to" is such a different thought than Pat Robertson's response. What if the Robertson from Virgina answered the viewers question by citing the response of the Robertson from South Carolina? He certainly wouldn't be the subject of ABC news reports and hundreds of comments on the 700 club FB page, but he would be much better grounded biblically. Which presumably, is what his 700 club viewers are tuning in for.


On a more personal note, about the same time Mcquilkin was dealing with his wife's Alzheimer's, my grandfather passed away of a disease that for 2 years masked itself as Alzheimer's. Before that most people in my family figured my robust grandfather would outlive my frail grandmother .


But in the 2 years that my grandmother took care of my grandpa a transformation took place in her. She was put in a situation that tore her apart but in the end made her a stronger and more vital person. My grandfather died in 1989 and this "frail" woman he left behind lived 16 more years remaining active in the lives of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. In 1989, I did not know my grandmother very well; being 1 of 30 grandchildren will do that to you. But in the last act of her life, we spent much more time together. My older two children spent much time with her. During the last few weeks of her life she would come in and out of consciousness. One night my wife overheard her having a conversation with God. She was telling Him that she could not go yet because there were still great grandchildren she had not met. One of those great grand children she was referring to was Puppy who was born a few months after Grandma died. I believe the experience of caring for her husband was at least partially instrumental in her strong finish in the last act of her life.




McQuilkin wrote an excellent book in 1998 about 20 years into Muriel's illness, about his wife and his decision to care for her. A Promise Kept is not only the name of the book, but it also defines what McQuikin, my grandmother, and so many others did through the years. Pat Robertson shrugs off those vows in the video while so many others have embraced them.

Just Call her A-Rol

Both my girls are fantastic readers, but Puppy is the only one who reads signs, magazine covers, and billboards aloud. Bunny Girl is too busy reading books at all times to take her nose out of one to read a sign or a magazine rack. The other day Amy and Puppy were at Walmart when Puppy saw this cover . . .

Here is a a transcript of the convo that followed:

Puppy: That is not true.

Amy: What's not true?

Puppy: She is not the most beautiful woman in the world, you are!!!

Amy: Thanks Puppy!

Puppy (Too worked up to accept thanks.) How can that magazine print stuff that's not true? What's wrong with them?

What's wrong with them, indeed? Puppy verifies what I have known for years. I am married to the most beautiful woman in the world. Now all she needs is an A-list nick name and we need a Bennifer like name for our marriage. How about Davmy? Or Amave?

Anniversary Dinner

For more Wordless Wednesday click here.

HSD Rewind: The Oscars our Super Bowl

HSD Rewind: The Oscars, our Super Bowl.

Timely time to go into the vaults for today post.


Original Air Date : Feb 22 2009




My wife loves sports. She really does. She loves to play sports. She likes to see sports played by others live. What she does not love, or even like, is watching sports on t.v., listening to sports talk on the radio, and tracking statistics, magic numbers, and trade deadlines. So, we don't share the same enthusiasm for sports events like the Super Bowl.

Amy and I are movie people. Oscar night is our Super Bowl. The day the nominations come out we always say we have to see all these movies before the award show. We never get to all of them. I didn't see any of the best pictures noms this year. Amy saw a couple. Hello, 3 small children. I did see all the best animated noms. I saw Bolt 3 times. Don't ask.

This year was not the most rewarding of shows. We didn't realize until yesterday, that the show was today. We had a long day with church and visiting relatives and when we did watch the show, it was online while I finished our tax refund on the same computer. Amy is already in bed, and there are at least 5 major awards, a life time achievement award and my favorite, the "hey, look who died montage."

Amy, let's plan ahead next year and go to a Academy Award party or something. Cause watching the Academy Awards without you is as pleasing as watching the Super Bowl without commercials.

Meanwhile back in 2011:

We did not arrange to go to an Oscar party last year. However, as I type this post, I am sitting in my in-laws drive way (got to love wi-fi) waiting for puppy to wake up so I can go into a cousins 1st birthday party/Oscar viewing party. I am not sure if anyone besides Amy and I know it's an Oscar viewing party. But let's see them try to kick us out.

In preparation Amy and I have picked out who we think is going to win in all the categories. Puppy was upset to find out that Tangled only had 1 nomination (best song). That is one fine movie and our family liked it a lot better than Toy Story 3. But alas, we don't get to vote.

Big 40 minus the birthday boy

My brother Keith would have turned 40 today. He died 18 months ago so he never quite made the milestone.

When My Mom turned 40, my Dad put a banner across our garage that read "Jeanne's 40 today. But don't tell anyone!". We lived across from the local library at the time and man people people became aware of the event.

When I turned 40, Amy had a surprise party for me and had one of my favorite musicians, Alan Levi, fly in from Alabama and sing at my party. He performed the following song among others .

When Amy turned 40, relatives teamed with me so I could give her 40 rolls of quarters. (Amy love quarters)

Keith died 18 months ago, so he never quite made the milestone. Keith was born on veteran's day and loved that his birthday was celebrated by many people even though they might not be aware they were doing so.

Today as you reflect on the men and women who served our country in the military. Reflect also on the men and women boys and girls who left the party before we had a chance to throw them one.