In which I review a book.

From time to time I will be reviewing on these pages books, c.d.s, movies and the like. Today I will be reviewing Date or Soul Mate? by Neil Clark Warren, the founder of eharmony.com. I am not sure if I have ever disliked a book more than this one. (If you haven't figured it out yet, this will not be a positive review.

The subtitle of the book is How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less. By that title, I expected a corrective if not an indictment, of the current dating system. Since I hope one day to write a book questioning the efficacy of dating in choosing a mate, the title had me at hello. The problem was that after hello, he lost me.

One of the many problems of this book is the author really never tells you how to know if someone is worth pursuing in two dates. His book reminds me of the old Steve Martin stand up routine:

Martin: Tonight, I am going to tell you how to make $1,000,000.00 and never pay taxes.
First, make a million dollars. Second, don't pay taxes.

Illuminating isn't it? Clark Warren seems to be saying in this book I am going to tell you how to meet your soul mate in two dates or less: First, meet your soul mate. Second, do it in two dates or less.

I actually agree with the author's main premise that many young people cheat themselves and their potential "soul mates" by staying in prolonged relationships which they knew very early would not lead to a successful marriage.

That premise would make an excellent magazine article. As a book there's not enough material. So the author advocates an unnecessary system that takes the majority of the book to explain.

He equates finding a soul mate to shopping and says that each single person should have a ten item list of must have qualities and a ten item list of must not have qualities they are looking for in a marriage partner. Further they should bring that shopping list on every date.

Even though the author admits that the number 10 is an arbitrary number he counsels strongly that you should not continue in a relationship unless the prospect has all 10 of the positive qualities and none of the negative. In later chapters he advises if the have none of the 10 negative qualities, it is sometimes okay to look for "a diamond in the rough." This is not the only confusing and contradicting advice he gives. While he says you can know in 2 dates if the person is worth pursuing he still suggests at least 2 years of dating to know for sure.

Dating in my opinion is a flawed system that can't be fixed by arbitrary rules. His rules seem superfluous to me. More than once the author tells stories of people who knew early on that the relationship they were in was a troubled one. If they "knew" this without benefit of a shopping list, why do they need one now? If dating relationships are to continue the way they are (something I hope to address in future posts) we should learn to not settle for less than God's best for us, but that does not mean by creating arbitrary rules to govern our actions.

Next Time: Take me out to the Ball Game.

You must be proud.

It's Thursday and it's time for three things from me to you, the reader.

1) Starts with a movie quote ...

Karen: He likes to butt things... with his head.
Nathan: How proud you must be.

From the 1989 movie "Parenthood"

Well it's not exactly butting things with his head but here is one of Charlie's many antics:

Now I have better footage of that where my daughter is not oblivious of the camera work, I am doing. But I like that one. It shows the commotion that is lunch at the Izola Becker Home School. Charlie has been climbing the walls lately. This is actually a doorway, but he actually has been shimmying up the hallway on a regular basis. I am encouraging the doorway and discouraging the hallway as the doorways are much easier to clean. But the point dear readers, is he climbs well, and for that I am proud.

2. To Tweet or not to Tweet. Yesterday I read two very good posts one advising why they love twitter and the other explaining why they don't. I have no real opinion on the matter. I have no desire to use twitter, but neither do I find it socially repugnant. Laura @ Heavenly Homemakers has this opinion in Twitterless. Amy at Mom's Toolbox shares her take in Twitter: Why I love it and how to get started.

3. Shameless Carnival Promotion. I am hosting a carnival next Wednesday. It is the Carnival of Homeschooling. And like in any good carnival, you need a huckster. SO, step right up home school parents and students. Join the carnival by submitting a post by 7 p.m Central Monday night. You can click here to submit a post.

So that's my submission for 3TTT for this week. For more of the fun and excitement go to Psalm 104:24.

Next Time: In Which I Review a Book.

Not much, What's a co-op with you?

Today was the last day of my kid's enrichment classes. This school year on Tuesdays my children were part of a program called G.I.F.T ( Godly Influenced Fine Arts Training). Though technically not a home school co-op, it gives home school families opportunities to study drama, music, art and other classes. The teachers are paid for their efforts and do an excellent job. My son studied chess and my daughter took a drawing/cartooning class.

A few weeks ago our home school co-op which meets on Mondays ended for the semester. This is a more typical home school co-op where the parents teach the courses. The cost was far less because the parents are only compensated for materials. It was my first semester in the co-op and we are looking forward to doing it again in the fall.

Let me take a minute and let you know why Home School co-ops work for me and give a few hints from my experience of how they can work for you.

1) I am able to have my kids taught subjects from teachers more skilled in those subjects than I am. I love art, but I am no artist. My children are and while I encourage them and work with them, they have in a short time exceeded my abilities. There are other parents at the co-op who are trained artists and able to guide my children farther than I could.

2) It gives me the ability to teach others, building my confidence and impacting more students. Through this semester I have realized that there is a lot that I can teach my children. Next fall I will be teaching classes about the Chronicles of Narnia and my children are looking forward to those classes.

Now here are some recommendations based on my experience:

A) If you have the opportunity to be involved in two cooperatives at the same time, don't do it. From Sunday to Tuesday it seems like we were always on the run. Sunday with church, Monday with co-op and AWANA and Tuesday with enrichment classes. It seems like we were all being run ragged. Next year we have decided to forego enrichment classes.

B) Keep up to date with your children's progress and requirements. There was many a week when I didn't find out about an assignment until we were in the van on the way to class. This is also true about school supplies! Sunday night at 10:00 is not the time to realize that your daughter needs more crayons.

So, that's why home school co-ops work for me. To see what works for others go to Works for Me Wednesday at We Are That Family.

I now have a special announcement for any homeschooling families out there. If you have a good post about home schooling (perhaps your own experience with a co-op) do I have an opportunity for you!! That's right, next week I am hosting the Carnival of Homeschooling, right here at Home School Dad. If you would like to submit an article for next week's issue click here.

Next Time: You Must be Proud.

A Message From Springfield

Springfield, IL

I saw the new Star Trek movie last night. I tried to come into the movie with low to modest expectations. It is hard to maintain low to modest expectations for a movie you travel 225 miles to see. This is especially true, when the first leg of your journey includes Chicago's Friday rush hour traffic.

Chicago was not blacked out for the premiere. I decided to mark the occasion with a visit of a dear Star Trek loving friend in Springfield. I am blogging from his computer at this instant. Another college friend went with us and just hanging out together was enough to make the evening a success regardless of the merit of the film.

Star Trek, in my opinion was a blast rather than a bust. It re imagines the series without dismantling it. From the opening sequence to the closing credits it was a festival of imagination and innovation. Actually the closing credits were pretty standard fare. They did however give me an idea for my next career once this home schooling gig has run it's course: Font Advisor.
(I know that is such a Times New Roman thing to say, but all my jobs can't be wingdings.)

My friend has amassed quite the library of movies and t.v. shows and comic books. I have watched episodes of Dark Wing Duck. Doctor Who, Life on Mars and The Batman (cartoon version) and read the first issue of the Marvel adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. You have to make room for the classics.

I also went into down town Springfield sat on a bench right next to Abraham Lincoln, spent time in the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library, visited the television station my friend works for, and saw cougars and Chinese barking deer at the local zoo. That's pretty good considering I have only been in town for 27 hours.

My friend (I'd mention his name but that's classified information, alright it's Clark Kent. There were cut backs at Metropolis and he's been re-stationed in Springfield.) lives about a mile from one of the best 2 restaurants in one building combos in the history of restaurant sharing. Long John Silvers meets A&W Root Beer. Been there once already and hitting it on my way out tomorrow.

I do miss my family, it's nice to get away from time to time, but even nicer to head back home. I hope Clark doesn't miss Season 1&2 of Dark Wing Duck. "When there's trouble you call D.W.!"

Next Time: Not Much, What's a Co-op with you?

Never Assume.

I did not know that Frugal Fridays had moved. Biblical Womanhood had been carrying it and I felt a little bit self conscious posting there (although I did on an infrequent basis) Now it's at Life as Mom and I am no more Mom than I am woman. Or perhaps not. As the stay at home parent and school teacher my life right now is much more Momish than it was a year ago. I mean that was me getting my sink to shine earlier this year wasn't it?

It seems like a valid assumption that the bigger the size of the package the lower the cost per unit. That's generally why people buy in bulk. While this is generally true, my word to the frugal is never assume.

With three children under 10, and all budding artists, I go through a lot of colored construction paper. Walmart sells the Rose Art brand at 88 sheets for 2.00. They also sell the Rose Art 200 pack. If you did the math you would see that the cost for 200 sheets at the 88 for $2.00 price would be $4.55. You would then assume that the cost for the 200 sheet would be less than that maybe $4.25 maybe $4.50. You would be wrong. My Walmart sells the bigger package for $5.00.

This is not the only instance I have seen this. Michael's sells their craypas ( oil pastel crayons) at a greater cost per unit than their smaller sets. I don't think that this is purposely done to defraud the customers as this is the exception rather than the rule. However, it is not a bad idea to double check when you go for the larger size.

The same thing is true for places like Costco and Sam's club. The discounts, while significant to the same brands smaller packages sometimes cannot compare to off brand labels available at places like Aldi.

So bigger can be better but that doesn't always make it cheaper. For more Frugal Friday suggestions go to Life As Mom.

Next Time: A Message From Springfield.