In Which I Say a Bad Word.

So I know you all tuned in today because you want to hear me say a bad word. I will not disappoint. I will not actually say it, nor will you actually hear it. I will type it and you will read it. I may even type it more than once.

So, you may be wondering, what's got into his sock drawer, that would cause him to say (type) a bad word? Well nothing has really got into my sock drawer, so to speak. There are just a couple of bad words out there that I use from time to time because I like the meaning and the impact of them. This review calls for one of them.

I was recently straightening out my book shelf when I came across a book that I had read about 3-5 years ago. I remembered reading it during a point in my life when I was taking the bus to and from work. As I looked over the book, it seemed I was using the bus ticket as a bookmark. The name of the book is The Socialization Trap by Rick Boyer. It might as well be called (here comes the bad word) The Socialization Crap. Not that the book is crap, it is actually quite good. It's just the whole concept that the book refutes (Home School children are going to suffer ill effects because they have no socialization is a whole bunch (don't have the energy to use it thrice) of rubbish.

This misconception is not an idea that is going away any time soon. Just last month Sylvia Biu used the myth of socialization as one of her main reasons "Homeschooling is a bad idea." I will not spend this article refuting her silly piece of drivel (I didn't much care for her article), As Alasandra of Alasandra's Homeschool Blog did a fantastic job of tearing the work apart in "Homeschoolings advantages far outweigh any preconceived shortcomings."

I mention it here because as homeschoolers we have all heard people say "but what about socialization?"

Boyer points out that many homeschooling families fall into the socialization trap by buying into the idea that children need some sort of age segregated activities and often become even busier than public or private schooling families trying to remove this "deficiency."

Boyer does acknowledge that Home school moms (He doesn't mention dads, but hey I'm a maverick) do need support groups of other like minded parents, that often these groups disintegrate into centering around entertaining the kids rather than supporting the parents.

You know what conversation, I'd like to hear? I'd just like to hear this conversation of two parents whose oldest children are about to enter Kindergarten:

Parent 1: So Johnny is about to start kindergarten an the public school.

Parent 2: Aren't you concerned about socialization?

Parent 1: What do you mean?

Parent 2: Aren't you concerned that Johnny will soon begin spending more time with his peer group and his teachers than he will with you and your husband? That his ideas about morality and civility are going to be shaped not by you but in a large part by other children his own age?

Could you imagine the look that Parent 1 would have on his or her face? No one really questions age segregation because it is how the majority of adults today were brought up. The majority of adults my age also watched The Partridge Family every Friday night when they were a kid. That does not mean it was a good show!!

And now a personal moment, when Amy and I were just starting homeschooling we had many discussions with friends and relatives and naturally they would all wonder "What about socialization"?We would answer the question best we could. The odd thing during each one of these conversations are children weren't at home. They were either on play dates with other homeschooling families, playing with neighbor kids or out on field trips with Amy or I. In short while our friends and relatives were worrying about socialization our children were socializing.

While I don't agree with everything in Boyer's book, I highly recommend it as an excellent resource to homeschooling Parents. Boyer's book comes from a Christian perspective, I come from the same perspective. If you do not, there may be more that you disagree with the book about. I still think it makes some fine points regardless of your spiritual bent.

Thanks to Beverly at About Homeschooling for including this in the Carnival of Homeschooling # 188: Game Day Edition. To see my previous Carnival of Homeschooling submissions click here.

Next Time: The Home School Convention

African Tulips

Today's review is Glory Road: The Journey of 10 African Americans into Reformed Christianity. At this time, I do not attend either an African American church nor a church that is based solely on the doctrines of Grace. I would have to say having attended both kinds of churches in the past, I would be very comfortable in either of those institutions.

The basic structure of the book is that each of the ten men pictured on the cover is given one chapter to tell their story. Interwoven through their life story and conversion experience is how reformed theology has impacted their life and ministry.

Sometimes a book with 10 different authors can feel segmented and difficult to follow. Anthony J. Carter the editor and one of the 10 essayists does an excellent job imbuing the book with a cohesive energy.

Many of the authors discuss the acrostic TULIP which explains the 5 points of Calvinism (Calvinism, Reformed Theology and Doctrines of Grace are all used interchangeably through the book,) T stands for Total Depravity , U Unconditional Election, L limited atonement, I Irresistible Grace, and Perseverance of the Saints. The authors do a good job of putting meat on that flower. So I will gladly let them unpack it for you.

I told my wife that the theology in this book was readable. She took that as a slam on the writing, when I meant the exact opposite. Some theology books read like stereo instructions. When Louis Love Jr., for example, uses theological terms like soteriology (the doctrine of salvation) or says regeneration is monergistic (the work of God alone) he defines those terms immediately. Instead of referring to the 5 solas and the TULIP acrostic, Anthony Bradley defines them in easy to follow terms.

The ten authors came from varied backgrounds and came to embrace the doctrines of grace in different ways. Four distinct elements permeate these journeys:

1) Modern day authors and preachers like J.I. Packer, James Montgomery Boice, R.C. Sproul, John Piper and others had an influence on these men's theology through books, magazine articles, radio programs and conferences.

2) The historical impact of men such as John Calvin, John Bunyan, John Owen and others (some not even named John) had a steadying influence in their journey.

3) Reformed Theology had a practical and personal application to their lives and was not just some academic discipline.

4) As Anthony Carter implies in the title of the afterward these men are black, reformed but foremost Christian.

When I first heard of Glory Road I was intrigued. Now that I have completed my journey of digging into this excellent tome, my initial curiosity has blossomed into a deep respect for this assemblage of pastors. I really appreciated the fine appendix that will give those interested in pursuing these matters further, books and authors (like those mentioned above) a suitable starting point.

I hope you found this review helpful. This is just one of many fine reviews being featured at the 23rd Book Review Blog Carnival at Bart's Bookshelf. To see all my Library Thing Early Reviewer reviews click here.

Next Time: Trying New Things

Guest Post by Amy Roller - Book Review

Dave's been promising a garden update. Our home garden is doing fine, tons of tomatoes on the horizon. But the following book review is more pressing at the moment. :)

This all came at me from left field, but now I want to run with it. Last week, we went to Hinsdale, IL for a field trip with some other homeschool families. My dad grew up in Hinsdale, so I was familiar with the area, and knew the location was right near the cemetery where my grandparents are buried. I had no idea what we were going to be doing, but I thought it was a farm tour. It ended up being a tour of a lovely woman's garden at her home. It was a two hour tour, that flew by, during which we encountered the most beautiful layout of God's creation that I've ever seen. And the lovely woman, Trudi Temple, was a treasure to behold. I just wanted to stand next to her to absorb her life force. Prior to this field trip, I had never heard of her, and knew nothing about her other than her passion for gardening (i.e., she spends three weeks in the fall/winter uprooting tropical plants to bring them inside for the winter, then another three weeks in the late spring, replanting them into their homes.) When we got home, I re-read the email we received about the field trip, and it mentioned something about the book this woman had written. I didn't even know her last name! My daughter Emma said, "I think it's Temple, because there was a sign on the house with that name." So I went to Amazon and looked her up. Lo, and behold, she has written a book that appeared to be about gardening. From the cover, it looks like it's going to be chock full of gardening tips, secrets, and how-to's. I was in for a surprise. Actually two surprises. If you know me at all, you know I don't buy books, I get them from the library. I ordered this book from the library, and when I got the call that it was in, I was very excited. Dave said he'd stop by the library on the way home from running other errands. When he got home, he presented me with a signed copy of her book, my own copy. I was happy, because I knew it would contain pictures to remind me of her beautiful gardens. However, her book, Trudi's Garden, is hardly about gardening at all. It's a tale of a young girl growing up in war-torn Germany, and the sheer determination it took to survive, thrive, and live an amazing life. And she is the founder of Market Day! I grew up on Market Day that my mom ordered. I couldn't believe it, I had listened to this woman talk about life and her garden (they can't be separated) for two hours, and she never mentioned Market Day. You know, that fundraiser at schools, churches, and park districts? She started it to raise money for missions, to help people, and even though she doesn't do much of the operating of Market Day anymore, she still raises money for solar ovens for Africa by giving tours of her gardens. This woman is amazing, and the book is a precious gift. It even includes some delectable-looking recipes from her childhood, which I will hasten to try! It is co-written by Laurie Bohlke, and I highly recommend that you all order it immediately from your library!! Or even do what Dave did, drive down to Anderson's Bookshops, in Naperville, and get a copy. If you're not in Illinois, go to their website and order a copy! This is a must-read!

Next Time: Reading Programs

Hero

Hero: Becoming the Man she Desires

By

Fred & Jasen Stoeker

I was given another book to review in the Library Thing Early Reviewer program. Click here to learn more about the program and read my previous review.

When I put my name on the hat for a copy of hero, I was unaware that this is the third book of a trilogy (Every Young Man's Battle and Tactics being the previous two). This book is thoroughly readable without reading the other two. I enjoyed this book so much that I am planning to read the first two later on this Summer.

In Hero the authors take a disheartening topic the failure of young men particularly Christian young men to be sexually pure and make an invigorating, hopeful but still immensely practical approach to male female relationships.

Fred Stoeker, His son Jasen, and his daughter in law Rose tell a story of victorious G rated living in a R/NC-17 world. Many books with multiple authors lose something in the transition. Not the case here, brief casual introductions make transitions as easy to follow as if they were merely microphone changes in a lecture hall.

Hero faces the cold hard facts that Christians particularly men are falling deep into lives filled with pornography, masturbation, and multiple partner sexual relations prior to and during marriage. Hero takes the life stand of Jasen Stoeker to not kiss a girl until he kissed his wife on his wedding day. The book basically begins with that kiss and then weaves it's message through the Stoeker family history of being statistics in the Playboy revolution to Fred's desire to make a change in that history and Jasen's stands for purity in Jr. high., high school and college along with Rose giving her back story and a needed feminine perspective.

I strongly recommend this book for all men but especially for fathers and single young men.

Next Time: Newspaper Chicken

But Dad, You're not a girl!

Blog Insider - A look at the widgets, gadgets, and what nots of Home School Dad.

Tonight's Episode: Library Thing

A blog is a beautiful thing. What I especially like about blogs are all the cool little gimmicks and features around the posts. Early on in my career as blogger/crime fighter I discovered a cool little thing called Library Thing.

I originally saw it at one of my favorite blogs A Place Beneath. (I am not just saying that because she watched my kids yesterday when I went to the home school convention, but thanks!)

Library Thing is essentially a way to catalog your books and they can run a sidebar on your blog that always shows five random books from your library. The basic service is free. For cataloging over 100 books there is a fee.

But what does this have to do with me not being a girl? Excellent Question. The best thing about Library Thing is they give away new books! Cool, huh! It is a program called Early Reviewers. Each month several copies of soon to be released books are made available to Library Thing Members. As long as the book is available in your country, you can register for it. Sometimes there are 1,000 people vying for 20 books. What you are supposed to do if you win a book is read it and then review it. You can post the review at Library Thing or post it at your blog and link it at Library Thing. I have been trying since the January Bonus Batch to snag a book. No book in January nor in February but in March after registering for about 25 books, I won one!

It was this one. This prompted my three year old to speak this post's title when she saw me reading it last week.

Let me live up to my end of the bargain. Kathy's book is actually a pretty good starting point for Busy Moms trying to simplify their lives. Much of her advice is practical, and fairly solid. Much of this advice is not new and there is very little that seems revolutionary in her approach.

The chapters each have the same format. She will spend the first half of a chapter talking about the topic (money matters, happiness, safety etc.) She then presents general problems that Busy Moms would have within the topic and her solutions. I found this question and answer format initially engaging. As the book continued the format began to grate on me.

Another thing that grated on me was how she tries to pass herself off as a just like you mom when she constantly name drops through the entire book. Okay I appreciate how having a paper route taught you valuable life lessons. I had a paper route and it taught me the same. But not everybody gets insight from life at parties hosted by Erik Estrada with music provided by one of the Pointer Sisters.

Over all I did like this book. Since I am not a busy Mom I can't tell you how it's target audience feels about it. I am married to a busy Mom, who is going to provide her own review in a future post.

I also like Library Thing and would encourage anyone who has not yet joined to give it a try. I won a book in April as well (it can take 4-8 weeks to receive a book that you've won.) It is a book for single men. At least it's the right gender this time!

Next Time: A Centennial Celebration

In which I review a book.

From time to time I will be reviewing on these pages books, c.d.s, movies and the like. Today I will be reviewing Date or Soul Mate? by Neil Clark Warren, the founder of eharmony.com. I am not sure if I have ever disliked a book more than this one. (If you haven't figured it out yet, this will not be a positive review.

The subtitle of the book is How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less. By that title, I expected a corrective if not an indictment, of the current dating system. Since I hope one day to write a book questioning the efficacy of dating in choosing a mate, the title had me at hello. The problem was that after hello, he lost me.

One of the many problems of this book is the author really never tells you how to know if someone is worth pursuing in two dates. His book reminds me of the old Steve Martin stand up routine:

Martin: Tonight, I am going to tell you how to make $1,000,000.00 and never pay taxes.
First, make a million dollars. Second, don't pay taxes.

Illuminating isn't it? Clark Warren seems to be saying in this book I am going to tell you how to meet your soul mate in two dates or less: First, meet your soul mate. Second, do it in two dates or less.

I actually agree with the author's main premise that many young people cheat themselves and their potential "soul mates" by staying in prolonged relationships which they knew very early would not lead to a successful marriage.

That premise would make an excellent magazine article. As a book there's not enough material. So the author advocates an unnecessary system that takes the majority of the book to explain.

He equates finding a soul mate to shopping and says that each single person should have a ten item list of must have qualities and a ten item list of must not have qualities they are looking for in a marriage partner. Further they should bring that shopping list on every date.

Even though the author admits that the number 10 is an arbitrary number he counsels strongly that you should not continue in a relationship unless the prospect has all 10 of the positive qualities and none of the negative. In later chapters he advises if the have none of the 10 negative qualities, it is sometimes okay to look for "a diamond in the rough." This is not the only confusing and contradicting advice he gives. While he says you can know in 2 dates if the person is worth pursuing he still suggests at least 2 years of dating to know for sure.

Dating in my opinion is a flawed system that can't be fixed by arbitrary rules. His rules seem superfluous to me. More than once the author tells stories of people who knew early on that the relationship they were in was a troubled one. If they "knew" this without benefit of a shopping list, why do they need one now? If dating relationships are to continue the way they are (something I hope to address in future posts) we should learn to not settle for less than God's best for us, but that does not mean by creating arbitrary rules to govern our actions.

Next Time: Take me out to the Ball Game.

Collecting State Quarters (Crazy Dave's Give-a-ways)

I started two valuable collections in 1999.

I started my collection of children and my collection of state quarters. Legally, I can only give one of them away on the Internet. Before I tell you about my state quarter give-a-way, let me tell you why collecting state quarters works for me.

When the quarters first came out I got one of those Extra large size books for a family collection. I enjoyed collecting so much that I decided to get 3 smaller size books for each of the children. In the apartment years finding quarters was easy, I'd go through the quarters before I used them in the laundromat. I also paid $8.00 in tolls a week mostly in quarters so I had plenty to work with. Getting A transponder for tolls and buying a house with a washer dryer nearly killed my quarter collecting. But I trudged on. Anytime we got change in our house I sifted thought it quicker than (insert speedy reference here).

Then a couple years ago the kids wanted to start getting an allowance. Perfect. That requires me each payday get a roll or two of quarters and sort through them before the kids had a pay-day of their own. The kids always exuberant when we find new quarters. It is interesting how their personalities manifest themselves in which state coins they like. Emma likes Kentucky because of the horses, and prefers other coins with animals on them. She is a little upset that no state has the motto "The bunny state" with cute little rabbit coin to match. Charlie likes Indiana because of the Car, Ohio and Florida because of the Astronaut stuff. I had to stop Lucy from putting a nickel in her mouth today so she hasn't really acquired a taste for quarters yet.

So when the Hawaii quarter came out at the end of last year we waited in anticipation to complete our collection. They didn't come to our local bank until February. By then we already had the 4 we needed to complete our set. But that wasn't enough for me. I still had the collecting bug so I have in the past 2 months collected a 5th set just for the fun of it.

So that's why State quarter collecting works for me. To find out what works for other people go to Kirsten's Works For Me Wednesday site at We Are That Family. But before you do, I want to tell you in honor of today being my 50th post I am giving a collection of all 50 state quarters away.

You could use them to start a collection of your own. Or that's $12.50 you can use to stimulate the economy. Or you could use them to learn how to flip quarters from your elbow and catch them in midair. Click here for a demonstration.

To enter just leave a comment on this post or on my face book feed of this post. The sidebar has the official rules. The contest runs until 8:00 p.m EST 3/23/2009

.

Next Time: March 11th