Keith Rhymes with Grief.

 IS FOR GRIEF

Wait one minute, you might be thinking.  In yesterday's post you basically promised that G would be for Give-A-Way.  You indicated that you would be giving away some state quarters. 

That's true, I really did.  Then I realized that today (April 7th) is the 3 year anniversary of my brother Keith's death.  I just didn't feel like putting my Crazy Uncle Dave hat on over my mourning brother one.  So, the quarter give-a-way will be soon.  You won't have to wait all the way to Q, I promise.

I have spent better than an hour rehashing Keith stories here and then deleting them.  I do that because this post is not really about remembering Keith.  I do that often.  This post is not really about his life. This post is about the grief I feel from his death.

I thought that it might be good to give a working definition of grief.  Since I decided to check in at Show My Face for Six Word Saturday. Here are my 6 words:

Grief - Deep stress caused by bereavement*.

*Bereavement is generally associated  with the loss of a loved one by death.

Pushing 50 as I am, I am not a total stranger to death.  Most of that death has come as a result of old age.  My grandparents all died between the ages of 79 and 97.  Keith was 7 months from 39 when he passed away.  Sometimes, even now, I can't wrap my head around him being gone. 

I do still have deep stress about his passing.  This stress is not daily, nor weekly, or even monthly.  It will sometimes hit me at random times but generally hits at 3 times during the year: On or near his birthday, the anniversary of his death, and Christmastime.  Teaching school, blogging or just about anything becomes difficult to focus on and I become quite a bit more irritable. 

A few months after Keith died I won a book from the Library Thing Early Reviewers Program about bereavement.  I still haven't read it fully or reviewed it.  I guess it's hard for me to imagine reviewing a book for early reviewers 3 years after it came out.  The book's title "In the Grip of Bereavement"  accurately describes my episodes of grief.  I really do feel like grief has a hold on me during these times.

Keith has now been dead longer than he was sick.  Our sister who is 3.5 years his junior is now the same age he was when he died. Life has gone on without him.  His children were 8 and 5 when he died that means they are 11 and 8 now.  In just 2 years his daughter will have lived longer without a father than with one. 

My faith in God has been a great sustainer over the past 3 years.  Even so,  sometimes the grief is so strong it is all I seem to be able to feel.  Sometimes I am even frightened that someday I may not grieve at all.  These thoughts and feelings are not the entirety of who I am.  but like today's post, which is neither well crafted nor polished, they are incredibly real. 

For more 6 word Saturday Click Here.

To see other G posts in Blogging A to Z click here.

 

The Man who Loved Books Too Much.

Book Stealer: Sociopath or misunderstood collector?

I have written HERE before about Library Things Early Reviewer program. It's a great program. I especially like it because it gives me the opportunity to add books to my library without paying for them. Certainly, I need to review the books to better my chances of winning more in the future. But since I am at least as passionate about blogging as I am about reading, it certainly does make for fun on a budget.

My most recent free book from Library Thing, The Man Who Loved Books Too Much. It is the fantastic but true account of a criminal stealer of books, the used book seller turned detective who brought him to justice, and the author whose own obsession threatens to impede the impartial chronicling of the story and make her a character in the tale as well.

If you are the type of person who skips introductions, prefaces, and prologues in works of nonfiction.and saunters right down to Chapter 1, don't make that mistake here! Allison Hoover Bartlett crafts a gripping page turner from the first sentence of said prologue. From there she chronicles the obsessions of the 3 main characters of her book.

First is the titular star of the book, John Charles Gilkey. The word sociopath does not appear in the 258 pages from prologue to afterward, unless you contend as I do, that Gilkey is a walking definition of the word.

My Merriam-Websters dictionary defines sociopath as "see psychopath", and defines sociopathic as "of relating to, or characterized by asocial or antisocial behavior or a pyschopathic personality". Neither of those definitions prove to be very illuminating, so I ambled over to Dictionary.com where they define sociopath as "a person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience." It is the last part of the definition that describes Gilkey. Here is a man amassing hundred of thousands of dollars of rare books by credit card fraud, who refers to his activities by benign words like "I got a book here," rather than saying I used bad check and stolen credit card numbers to steal those books.

Gilkey sees people in two categories 1) people to impress with his collection and 2) people to help further his collection. The problem is because of the way he obtains his books, there is no one who can possibly fit in the first category. That is, until he begins to use the author and the promise of being featured in her magazine article and books as an audience to impress.

The second obsessed character chronicled by Bartlett is Ken Sanders, the lapsed Mormon turned bookseller turned detective. Sanders is obsessed with justice. While he is very eager to share his stories of how rampant and destructive thievery and fraud is in the rare book industry, he is very reluctant to have Gilkey portrayed as anything other than twisted and depraved. His obsession with justice is so strong he often asks Bartlett if her readers will find him more crazy than Gilkey.

Finally, the third obsession is that of Bartlett, the chronicler of this tale. While Gilkey's obsession is collecting books he can't or won't pay for, and Sander's obsession is keeping legitimate collectors safe, and bring illegitimate ones to justice, Bartlett's is more difficult to define. Her obsession is with collecting their stories. In doing so she becomes so involved that Gilkey begins to show her "probably" stolen goods and confessing many crimes. He even tours a bookstore that he has stolen from with her. She gets so intertwined in his dealings that, she must seek legal advice to make sure she has not crossed the line from chronicler to codefendant. Her angst translates well to the page and adds to the readers' enjoyment.

In the books afterword (also a must read), says "this story had me under its spell from beginning to end." Many writers write stories that they are enchanted by, sometimes these stories are crushed under the weight of such enchantment. Bartlett deftly manages to mesmerize the reader under the same spell. I recommend it for your collection. I urge you to pay for it.

To see more SIX WORD SATURDAY go to Show my Face dot com. Also get ready to participate this coming Thursday in Three Things this Thursday.

Next Time: I thought we all knew the President's address.

African Tulips

Today's review is Glory Road: The Journey of 10 African Americans into Reformed Christianity. At this time, I do not attend either an African American church nor a church that is based solely on the doctrines of Grace. I would have to say having attended both kinds of churches in the past, I would be very comfortable in either of those institutions.

The basic structure of the book is that each of the ten men pictured on the cover is given one chapter to tell their story. Interwoven through their life story and conversion experience is how reformed theology has impacted their life and ministry.

Sometimes a book with 10 different authors can feel segmented and difficult to follow. Anthony J. Carter the editor and one of the 10 essayists does an excellent job imbuing the book with a cohesive energy.

Many of the authors discuss the acrostic TULIP which explains the 5 points of Calvinism (Calvinism, Reformed Theology and Doctrines of Grace are all used interchangeably through the book,) T stands for Total Depravity , U Unconditional Election, L limited atonement, I Irresistible Grace, and Perseverance of the Saints. The authors do a good job of putting meat on that flower. So I will gladly let them unpack it for you.

I told my wife that the theology in this book was readable. She took that as a slam on the writing, when I meant the exact opposite. Some theology books read like stereo instructions. When Louis Love Jr., for example, uses theological terms like soteriology (the doctrine of salvation) or says regeneration is monergistic (the work of God alone) he defines those terms immediately. Instead of referring to the 5 solas and the TULIP acrostic, Anthony Bradley defines them in easy to follow terms.

The ten authors came from varied backgrounds and came to embrace the doctrines of grace in different ways. Four distinct elements permeate these journeys:

1) Modern day authors and preachers like J.I. Packer, James Montgomery Boice, R.C. Sproul, John Piper and others had an influence on these men's theology through books, magazine articles, radio programs and conferences.

2) The historical impact of men such as John Calvin, John Bunyan, John Owen and others (some not even named John) had a steadying influence in their journey.

3) Reformed Theology had a practical and personal application to their lives and was not just some academic discipline.

4) As Anthony Carter implies in the title of the afterward these men are black, reformed but foremost Christian.

When I first heard of Glory Road I was intrigued. Now that I have completed my journey of digging into this excellent tome, my initial curiosity has blossomed into a deep respect for this assemblage of pastors. I really appreciated the fine appendix that will give those interested in pursuing these matters further, books and authors (like those mentioned above) a suitable starting point.

I hope you found this review helpful. This is just one of many fine reviews being featured at the 23rd Book Review Blog Carnival at Bart's Bookshelf. To see all my Library Thing Early Reviewer reviews click here.

Next Time: Trying New Things

Hero

Hero: Becoming the Man she Desires

By

Fred & Jasen Stoeker

I was given another book to review in the Library Thing Early Reviewer program. Click here to learn more about the program and read my previous review.

When I put my name on the hat for a copy of hero, I was unaware that this is the third book of a trilogy (Every Young Man's Battle and Tactics being the previous two). This book is thoroughly readable without reading the other two. I enjoyed this book so much that I am planning to read the first two later on this Summer.

In Hero the authors take a disheartening topic the failure of young men particularly Christian young men to be sexually pure and make an invigorating, hopeful but still immensely practical approach to male female relationships.

Fred Stoeker, His son Jasen, and his daughter in law Rose tell a story of victorious G rated living in a R/NC-17 world. Many books with multiple authors lose something in the transition. Not the case here, brief casual introductions make transitions as easy to follow as if they were merely microphone changes in a lecture hall.

Hero faces the cold hard facts that Christians particularly men are falling deep into lives filled with pornography, masturbation, and multiple partner sexual relations prior to and during marriage. Hero takes the life stand of Jasen Stoeker to not kiss a girl until he kissed his wife on his wedding day. The book basically begins with that kiss and then weaves it's message through the Stoeker family history of being statistics in the Playboy revolution to Fred's desire to make a change in that history and Jasen's stands for purity in Jr. high., high school and college along with Rose giving her back story and a needed feminine perspective.

I strongly recommend this book for all men but especially for fathers and single young men.

Next Time: Newspaper Chicken

But Dad, You're not a girl!

Blog Insider - A look at the widgets, gadgets, and what nots of Home School Dad.

Tonight's Episode: Library Thing

A blog is a beautiful thing. What I especially like about blogs are all the cool little gimmicks and features around the posts. Early on in my career as blogger/crime fighter I discovered a cool little thing called Library Thing.

I originally saw it at one of my favorite blogs A Place Beneath. (I am not just saying that because she watched my kids yesterday when I went to the home school convention, but thanks!)

Library Thing is essentially a way to catalog your books and they can run a sidebar on your blog that always shows five random books from your library. The basic service is free. For cataloging over 100 books there is a fee.

But what does this have to do with me not being a girl? Excellent Question. The best thing about Library Thing is they give away new books! Cool, huh! It is a program called Early Reviewers. Each month several copies of soon to be released books are made available to Library Thing Members. As long as the book is available in your country, you can register for it. Sometimes there are 1,000 people vying for 20 books. What you are supposed to do if you win a book is read it and then review it. You can post the review at Library Thing or post it at your blog and link it at Library Thing. I have been trying since the January Bonus Batch to snag a book. No book in January nor in February but in March after registering for about 25 books, I won one!

It was this one. This prompted my three year old to speak this post's title when she saw me reading it last week.

Let me live up to my end of the bargain. Kathy's book is actually a pretty good starting point for Busy Moms trying to simplify their lives. Much of her advice is practical, and fairly solid. Much of this advice is not new and there is very little that seems revolutionary in her approach.

The chapters each have the same format. She will spend the first half of a chapter talking about the topic (money matters, happiness, safety etc.) She then presents general problems that Busy Moms would have within the topic and her solutions. I found this question and answer format initially engaging. As the book continued the format began to grate on me.

Another thing that grated on me was how she tries to pass herself off as a just like you mom when she constantly name drops through the entire book. Okay I appreciate how having a paper route taught you valuable life lessons. I had a paper route and it taught me the same. But not everybody gets insight from life at parties hosted by Erik Estrada with music provided by one of the Pointer Sisters.

Over all I did like this book. Since I am not a busy Mom I can't tell you how it's target audience feels about it. I am married to a busy Mom, who is going to provide her own review in a future post.

I also like Library Thing and would encourage anyone who has not yet joined to give it a try. I won a book in April as well (it can take 4-8 weeks to receive a book that you've won.) It is a book for single men. At least it's the right gender this time!

Next Time: A Centennial Celebration