Star Wars, Legos and kids. .

When Keith was 6 and I was 12 a small little movie called Star Wars opened. Like many kids our ages we became passionate about this movie. For me it was writing Basic Programs with Vic Santos about X-Wings and Death Stars. For Keith, it was playing with Star Wars Action Figures with Andy Nover.

Keith was also very fond of legos as a child. He was an excellent lego maker and had quite the imagination.

Classics never go out of style and my Son Charlie is also passionate about Star Wars and Legos. Charlie started his own Blog Recently entitled Homeschool Jedi Apprentice. Two of his most recent posts combine Legos and Star Wars. One is a video of a battle between clones and droids and the other are just photos of same.

I see a lot of Keith in his children, Bobby and Sara. But I also see a lot of Keith, in my own children and all children. In some ways (mostly good) Keith never stopped being 6 and his passion for games and toys gave him an ability to communicate with kids on their level. He may have been a child a long time ago but when it came to relating to children He was never in a galaxy far far away.

Keith and the Bicentennial

This is my 200th blog post. If I weren't posting every 39 minutes today in honor of Keith's 39th birthday I would probably not make the 200 mark until late December, early January. Since this day is not about me, I will tell you about Keith circa 1976. (The bicentenial of America). Keith began kindergarten in 1976. He turned 6, 33 years ago today. While his older 3 siblings were attending Queen of The Rosary (QR) and/or Grove Junior High, Keith was becoming the 4th member of our family to attend kindergarten at Salt Creek School . QR did not have a kindergarten program at the time and our sister Bonnie was the first to attend QR's kindergarten rather than Salt Creek's. Incidentally, the 5th member of our family to attend kindergarten at Salt Creek was Keith's son Bobby, who stayed with his family at my folks' house in Elk Grove during the first year of Keith's illness.

My dad was in the throes of putting an addition on the house that would give Keith his own room. Up to this point, Keith had been staying in the same room as his 10 and 12 year old brothers.

Editors Note: I'm the 12 year old. Chris is younger than me! So, back off!

Editor's Note the second: Read all about my fraternal angst with my middle sibling at I'm not bitter dot com.

A 6 year age difference is a pretty big thing at 12 and Keith and I didn't exactly hang out in the same circles. What I do remember about him is equal parts affability and annoyance. He was the quintessential give him an expensive present, he'll play with the box kid. But he also had an insatiable curiosity in how things worked (not unlike a son of mine.)

So that's 1976, the year Rocky didn't need a Roman numeral. The year of Olympic heroes Franz Klamer and Nadia Commanecci. The year my Dad put an addition on the house. Uncle Sam turned 200. Keith started kindergarten and I started 7th grade for the first time. But that as they say is a story for a different time.

The International Impact of Keith Part II

Keith visited me when I was living in Russia in 1993. The picture of us on the blog page was taken on that trip. If you'll notice we are drinking soda, but there is no ice in the glasses. At one point of the trip this caused Keith to comment. "A guy could make a lot of money in this country, if he had the recipe for ice cubes."

A Mother's Memory Part II

Here is another memory of Keith from my Mom . . .

When Bonnie was in 1st grade, Keith was in 5th, and we had him walk with her to school for awhile. Keith was always ready first, and when Bonnie was running late he would go upstairs to expedite, because he didn’t want to be late. I finally found out that she was having him “wait on her” by bringing her stuff and getting her books together, etc., and he never complained. I had to tell him not to do her work for her, and he said that it was the only way she’d be on time. I told Bonnie that Keith wasn’t going to do her work for her, and if she wasn’t ready on time, Keith would go without her. I really had to talk him into doing that, but Bonnie was seldom late after that.

Memories from the Funeral Part II

When Keith died many people wanted to eulogize him at the funeral. Myself, Our brother and younger sister among them. I felt a deep need to be the one who spoke and by God's grace I was chosen to give the eulogy at the end of the Mass. A few days after the funeral I shared the transcript (as best as I could remember) on my blog.

Here is what I said . . .

On behalf of Lynn and her children, my parents and my brothers and sisters I'd like to welcome you to the Illinois regional Jeopardy auditions. (wait for laughter to subside) Keith and the rest of our family grew up at this church. The first funeral I recall attending was here. It was for the father of a school and scouting friend of Chris and mine. After the service, my dad approached the widow and said "38 is much too young to go."

Now, I was about 10, and like maybe many of you, (motioning to the students) 38 did not seem young to me at all. But let me tell you, 38 is much too young (Keith was 38 when he died). When you love somebody whenever they die it is always much too soon.

Many people who knew Keith only by his diagnosis (bi-polar disorder) might think that there were two Keith's. That was so untrue. There was only one Keith. He had a greater capacity for love and enjoyment than anyone I ever knew. He loved his family. He loved playing games and he loved jokes. He was active in his children's schooling and scouting. (I meant to talk briefly how he loved chess and how he was helping my son Charlie with his chess class on their last visit together a week before he died. I didn't get to that part. I also wanted to talk specifically about how much he loved his wife Lynn, missed that as well). He was logical to the point of being obnoxious or perhaps for the purpose of being obnoxious. He'd be at a a party at my house and I'd say "Keith there's Pepsi in the cooler if you want one." And he'd say "Actually, there's Pepsi in the cooler even if I don't want one."

Keith's passing has left many of us with the same question. A question my daughter Emma has asked many times this week. "Daddy, why did Uncle Keith have to die?" I don't think it was any coincidence that Keith died during Holy Week. During the same time that many of you were celebrating the stations of the cross and asking "Why did Jesus have to die?" Pastor Ed you are right Keith is not asking those questions now. Keith understood the hope of the resurrection and He is in heaven right now with his Savior.

During the past 3 years during the course of his illness, (Keith had heart and kidney ailments) many people have stopped me and asked me "How is Keith? How is your brother doing?" Keith is doing great. He is doing better than we can even imagine.

The write thing at the right time.

The day after Keith's Funeral I was having a rough day. Here is an excerpt form my blog of how my Daughter Emma lifted my spirits on a very difficult day.

Today has been a difficult day. I started teaching the kids today and it did not go really well. I went shopping after Amy came home and started crying about three times in the five minutes I was in the store. Purchasing refried beans usually does not have that effect on me. Keith has been on my mind all day.When I got back in the house I started crying again. Emma was finishing a writing assignment that Amy gave her last week. She asked me what was the matter and I said that I wasn't feeling very well today. She handed me her finished assignment and said "here, I hope this makes you feel better." It really did! She gave me permission to share it here.

My Dad! By Emma R

A man like Dad is hard to find. If you looked for someone like him in a 1,000,000 men, not one would be just like him. That is because my dad is the best dad in the world! But not the best father. Just kidding!

That is because he is silly, helpful, kind, nice, funny, and crazy! He likes to say "llama". Once he said I'll give you 5 cents for every time I say llama!" Boy! Did we get a lot of money!
We used to get 50 cents for allowance. Now we get $2.00! He even lets me be paid for some jobs.

He always prays for Lucy and sometimes lays down with her. He loves playing games with us!
When Lucy has sticker time, he lets her choose. When she has computer time, he does exactly what she wants. He makes Lucy's school fun. He takes our neighbor to the store, because she does not have a car.

He used to visit our uncle at the hospital. In conclusion, my dad is the best dad in the world because he is nice, kind and crazy.

I just gave a eulogy yesterday. The problem with a eulogy is that the person you want to tell all these great things about is not there to hear them. Emma's paper seemed like a eulogy that I was able to receive.

The International Impact of Keith Part I

This memory comes from Rosie Button, a British friend of mine who like many of my friends stayed with my folks for a few days (because of my folks great kindness and also proximity to O'hare.)

I remember meeting Keith on my first ever night in the US, in 1997. Dan and I stayed w your parents in Chicago, right after I flew in, and he was around. When we were leaving early the next morning, he was out in the street, fixing the windshield wipers on his car, in his dressing-gown. He remains one of my first American memories. We are sorry for your loss.

A Summertime remembrance

My sister Bonnie wanted to share this memory of Keith . . .

Growing up, in the summer, Keith and I would always spend our days together...We would eat breakfast together and then sometimes for lunch he would ride his bike to the store and buy us lunch...Then we would watch "The Great Space Coaster" together followed by a show called "Today's Special" on Nickelodeon...After that, we'd walk to the pool, spend the day hanging out, and then go home....We'd do this every day during the summer....

Memories from the Funeral Part I

My Dad drives the bus for the parochial school that all his children attended. My 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Molick is now the Principal of the School. At Keith's funeral, the entire student body attended. Generally, this is not done. The students who knew the deceased or perhaps the class of the deceased relative will attend the funeral. But there they were the entire student population of Queen of the Rosary was on hand mostly out of the respect the students and faculty have for my Dad. Their attendance meant a great deal to Him and to our whole family.

Amy Remembers Keith Part I

Amy has chimed in with a few remembrances of my brother, here is the first . . .

Keith loved his kids. He never considered it stepping down when he had to get on the floor and do a puzzle with the kids. He loved games as well and would fully engage in whatever he was doing with one of his kids. He loved reading to them, playing games with them, taking them to the park, etc. Keith loved his kids.

Keith, Nikki and Bonnie play backgammon Part II

Last Time: My cousin Nikki started a remembrance of a Backgammon tutorial between Keith, Herself and my sister Bonnie.

As the idea of playing Backgammon was formally broached, two consecutive conversations about the game started to take place: the one that I was having with myself in my own head and the sales pitch a very optimistic and enthusiastic Keith was giving me about the game. I don’t remember the exact words of these conversations, but I’m pretty sure they went something like this: ME: What if I make a mistake?

KEITH: “It’s real easy.”

ME: But the game board looks so cool.

KEITH: “All you’ve got to do is …”

ME: What if I can’t do it?

KEITH: “You roll the dice…”

ME: But those fancy checkers are neato. They make a ‘tink, tink, tink’ sound. I’m not sure I want to play this game, but boy do I want to play **with** this game.

KEITH: “The white checkers move this way … the brown checkers move that way…”

ME: Oh God. What if they make fun of me when I make a mistake…

To be Concluded

Keith, Nikki and Bonnie play Backgammon Part I

The next 3 remembrances come from my cousin Nikki



My earliest memory of Keith is actually my earliest memory of the David Roller branch of the family, who had come to my parents’ house in Bristol for a visit – I’m not sure if it was part of a bigger occasion, or just a casual get-together. I think I was in grade school at the time. Maybe junior high. At any rate, on this day Keith and Bonnie tried to teach me how to play Backgammon. I believe we also may have been eating brownies.

I was pretty shy as a kid. I was skeptical of everyone and everything, and absolutely terrified of embarrassing myself in anyway. So, the whole prospect of playing a new game to me seemed dubious at best, mortifying at worst.

To be continued ...

Born in 1970

In our last installment, I shared famous people born November 11th.

This time I will share some folks who shared his 1970 year of birth.

Andre Agassi, tennis player - born April 29th. Keith's older siblings used to tease him about his buzz cuts. We would compare his head to a tennis ball.

Matt Damon. Born October 8th. Films include Good Will Hunting, Rounders.

Minnie Driver, actress - born January 31st. Films include Good Will Hunting, Circle of Friends.

Chris O'Donnell, actor - born June 26th. Films include Circle of Friends, Batman and Robin.

Kirk Cameron, actor - born October 12th. Portrayed Mike Seaver on Growing Pains. On Christmas day our family would all quote Cameron as Seaver scouting out unopened Christmas presents "Socks, resale value $8.00".

Malcolm-Jamal Warner, actor - born August 18th. Played Theo Huxtable in Cosby Show.

Ethan Hawke, actor - born November 6th. Films include Dead Poets Society and Gattaca.

Born November 11th

Keith was born November 11, 1970. Keith was a big fan of trivia, so he would probably be interested in famous people throughout history who shar his birthday.

Here is a sampling . . .

Abigail Adams born 1744. Wife of President John Adams and mother of President John Quincy Adams.

Leonardo DiCaprio born 1974. Actor. What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Titanic, Catch me if you can.

Hugh Everett born 1930. Quantum Physicist.

Patrick Knowles born 1911. Actor - Played the Wolfman. Keith was always fascinated with the numbers associated with his birthday and would think this guys birthday 11-11-11 something to howl over.

Marc Summers born 1951. Game Show Host. Keith is a big fan of game shows and was always a fan of shows like Double Dare on Nickelodeon whic Summers hosted.

Joanthan winters born 1925. Comedian. Played the son of Mork and Mindy in the ABC sitcom of the same name. Keith and I always liked quoting Mork saying things like "Never go to Pluto, it's a Mickey Mouse planet.

Chess

Keith loved Chess. He was a good player and a good teacher. My son Charlie took a homeschool chess class last year. The last time Charlie saw Keith alive, Keith was helping him with His Chess homework. I remember one time last year when I was visiting Keith in the Hospital. He and I played a game of Chess and I routed him which is not only unusual, its incomprehensible. I'll beat him once a decade but to dominate him, that's unheard of. After the chess game Keith took a nap and when he awoke, he did not remember me being there and certainly did not remember us playing. I'd like to think he was making that up. But when we played later, he beat my brains in which was the typical result. It was goog to know that he couldn't beat me in his sleep.

Today Charlie and I will play a chess game in your Memory.

A Mother's Memory Part I

My Mom had a few memories she wanted to share, Her is the first . . .

I remember shopping with Lynn & Keith for a crib for Bobby at Babies are us. When the 2 young men who loaded the purchases into the car were speaking in Spanish to each other, I heard a third voice and was amazed to realize that Keith had joined right in in fluent Spanish like he was native to Mexico. I knew he had taken Spanish in high school, but I never knew he was so good at it. When I asked him about it, he said that he needed to communicate with the Spanish-speaking kids who helped him unload the truck(at McDonalds), and he learned it very well Spanish. I was really amazed to realize that he could converse so well in Spanish, and he didn’t think a thing of it.

Fred Astaire on Dick Cavett

Keith, like most of the Rollers, was a big television watcher. So when my mom recounted the particulars of his birth, I should not have been surprised. My mom was watching the Dick Cavett show at about 10:30 p.m. on Nov 10th. Fred Astaire was a guest. Mom went to the bathroom and found that it was time to get going to the hospital. This was before VCR's, TiVo, and the like, and my Mom wanted to stay a while longer and watch the interview (Which is so Keith.). My Dad intervened, and off they were to Des Plaines and some time around 2:30 A.M Keith was born.

But don't worry Mom, next year the prequel to Frost/Nixon is coming out. I hope you really enjoy Cavett/Astaire.

The Humor of Keith: Ham on Wry.

Keith had a great sense of humor. But the problem was that too often he had my sense of humor and I was already using it. When he wasn't trying to be me, his humor shone. Puns and song parodies can only get you so far. What he excelled in was observational humor.

One of my favorite lines I remember from Him was in describing my organizational system, or lack thereof.

A place for everything, and everything on the floor.

Not only did that comment describe me down to the empty file folder system next to the pile of papers, but it also showed the keen analytical mind that God gifted Him with.

When I heard Keith was sick.

I worked at a mortgage company for almost 9 years. From 4 months before I was married until about 8 months after Lucy was born. Let's just say that I did not choose to leave my employment at that time and leave it at that.

I was out of work for about 6 weeks. During that time our family was able to do a lot of things together. One of those things was to go out to see a movie in the park that our park district was hosting. The movie was Racing Stripes. While we were watching it, our cell phone rang. We had only just got a cell phone and only 1 or 2 people knew the number.

It was my Dad on my phone to tell us of Keith's illness. 10% use of his Kindeys and about the same in his heart. A few months before after Lucy was born Amy was hospitalized for the same diagnosis but within 2 days was given a clean bill of health. How we hoped and prayed this was a similar situation.

That was not the case of course and less than 3 years after the original diagnosis, Keith was gone. One thing that did strike me was that at a time when Keith needed me the most I was able to be there for Him. During the time I had off work, I was able to visit him regularly at the hospital and even spend a week with Him when he was being checked out at the Mayo Clinic.

That time especially taught me so much about reaching out to those that are hurting and being an advocate for them. I am still struck how God freed up my schedule tominister to Keith but also provided a new job for me within the time needed to provide for my own family.

A Bet I Wish I Lost

Originally posted the day he died

My brother Keith had been in and out of hospitals and nursing homes since 2006. He had heart and kidney conditions uncommon in a man so young. I visited him in 5 hospitals, 2 nursing homes from here to Minnesota. Last summer at the end of an almost 3 month stint in hospitals and nursing homes I offered him $100.00 if he could avoid the aforementioned for a period of a year. This winter and spring he had been making the hospital and nursing home circuit again.

This April he was taken in an ambulance from his nursing home to a nearby hospital with cardiac arrest. He did not survive the trip. That is $100.00 I would have gladly parted with. Parting with him will be another deal entirely. I covet prayers for his family. That they would trust God knowing that Keith lives now with his Heavenly Father. That we'd be able to live without him.