E was for Evangelical Sans the Trump Kool-Aid
F is for Father of 3 Adult Children
When I started this blog 16 years ago, I was 44 years old and my children were 19. Well they were nine, seven and three so their total age was 19. I was approximately 2 and 1/3 times their total age. Now I am 60 and the youngest is 19 all by her lonesome! Together they are 67 so they are approximately 1.1 times older than me.
My tendency for posts like this is to talk about them. But since this is the ABC's of me. I want to talk about me as a father. Focusing on the challenges I face as I navigate being a father to adult children.
Have you heard of helicopter parents? My Dad was not a helicopter parent. My dad was more of an air traffic control parent. Actually that may be too generous. My Dad was more like the air traffic control guy in the movies when you have some guy or girl who has to land the plane because all the flight crew are too sick or dead to operate the aircraft. The tower takes over has you go on autopilot and walks you down I step by step details.
The problem with this approach is that in the metaphor I was not some inexperienced warm body filling the Captains chair. I was a capable pilot able to fly and land my own plane.
My Dad was forever turning lights out in our house trying to save electricity. However, I think he never was able to find an off switch when it came to parenting.
I decided before I was even married that if I had children I’d want to prepare them for flying solo as independent adults. Then I had children and practice is much more complicated than theory. I understand now how hard that off switch is to find.
Perhaps it's not an off switch at all but a switch like that in a rail yard when you change the tracks. The first 18 years and sometimes more your children are on the track to adulthood. They are the passenger and we are the conductor. Then they all hop into different tracks, my son jumped on the work train upon graduation. My youngest daughter took the University express. My oldest daughter's journey has had more detours, track changes and layovers than any of us expected but her train has been moving steadily in the correct direction for a couple years now.
My wife and I laid a lot of track for our kids in their first 2 decades. We worked hard to keep them from going off the rails. Now is the time that we are doing our best to help them make their own connections and ride off on their own steam.
For more of the A to Z challenge click here. To get back to the master list click here.
Next Stop: Giraffe Junction.
1 comment:
From what I hear, parenting is an adventure.
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