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Tuesday, November 19, 2024
8 Score and 1 Year ago ...
Monday, November 11, 2024
Veterans of Grief
I'm sure I have written a post like this before with a similar title. I am taking another stab at the subject. My youngest brother Keith was born on Nov 11th 1970 aka Veterans Day. . This is the 54th anniversary of his birth. I was born in September of 1964, so I was already 6 years old when he was born.
. Keith's last Veteran's Day was 16 years ago when he turned 38. He died 5 months later in an Elgin nursing home when I was 44. Since then I've turned 60 and he's perpetually 38. Keith loved math and I'm pretty sure if he was still around he'd call me up today to announce that he had now been alive for 90% of my lifetime. The truth is that he was on;y alive 63.33% of my lifetime time and that number goes down each year I outlive him.
Now Keith would want me to provide a more accurate accounting of that number by factoring in the 5 months between his 38th birthday and that day in April of 2009 when he shuffled off this mortal coil. Let's be real, Keith would want me to calculate the percentage down to at least the day, factoring in the leap days as well. He probably wouldn't be satisfied with even that and want it down to the last minute.
But That's not what I would want. What I would want of course, is that his multiple health problems were all resolved and that he was here with us celebrating his full deck plus 2 jokers (that's 54th please try to keep up) birthday with us. What I would want is that his children now in their 20s would still have their Dad with them instead of hardly remembering him or not remembering him at all. What I would want, is that instead of struggling to recall his legendary dumb jokes, there would be another 15 1/2 years worth of them to smile and nod at. But I did not get what I wanted. Instead, I got grief. Now Veterans Day means more than just Keith's birthday to me. It reminds me that I'm a veteran, a veteran of grief.
I'm going to spend the rest of this post unpacking the last sentence of the previous paragraph. When Keith died Amy and I had been attending a small group at our church for only a few weeks. We knew the leader of the small group pretty well because he was the children's ministry pastor and all our children were in the children's ministry at the time and we were both volunteering there. So when he showed up at Keith's visitation I wasn't too surprised. What did surprise me, however, was that the couple whose house the small group met at came to the visitation. We had just met them a few weeks before. They didn't have children, and they didn't attend the same service as we did. It really meant a lot that he came. He explained to me that a few years before when his father had died, he had a similar experience. Some people he hardly knew came to the funeral because they had lost someone and knew how important it was having people there not only to pay respect to the person they lost but to also be there for those who had lost someone. Both the couple who came to Keith's visitation and the people who had gone to his Dad's funeral had one thing in common, they were veterans of grief.
When I think of a war veteran I think of someone who's been through something devastating and life-altering and has been permanently changed by it. Grief has that same effect on you. There is something else I've learned about veterans they try to be there for each other. There is a camaraderie, a family bond. It's a community that doesn't require serving in the same unit or even the same war. The same could be said about a veteran of grief. I don't know if this is true of all veterans be it war, grief, or something else. But as I dealt with losing Keith, empathy for those encountering the same thing grew in me. I was never one to shy away from the funerals of people I knew, but I started gravitating to the funerals of family members of people I knew. As a veteran of grief, I have been able to comfort people and try to help in tangible ways as people begin their journeys with loss and grief.
Keith is often front and center in my heart and mind during these times. I have not yet lost someone closer than a sibling and have not experienced what it is like to lose a child, a parent, or a spouse. I have done my best to comfort those who have lost more significant people in the time since Keith's passing. A dear friend lost his father and wife in short order. I have to be honest I can't imagine losing Amy. I know it would devastate me completely and while I know God would bring me through it, I know it's just a drop in the bucket in comparison to losing Keith. Amy herself lost both her parents within a few years of each other. It broke my heart to see her "orphaned" knowing that her loss was far greater than mine. Yet knowing how God has helped me through this lesser loss of Keith has helped inform me how I can minister to others as they become more experienced with grief.
I still miss Keith, especially on days like today. Tomorrow my remaining brother and I head over to Keith's house to help his widow with some practical needs. It will be bittersweet just a day after his birthday. All my siblings have tried to look out for our sister-in-law and our niece and nephew and I think we would all say that we wished we could do more. In sports veteran players often act as a surrogate coaches to rookies and other new team members. Grief is not a team that anyone chooses to play for. Isaiah 53:3 prophesies about Jesus describing Him as a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. Jesus, His word, and His people have equipped me as a veteran of grief. I'm not sure if I'm paying forward, or pointing backward but regardless of the direction I'm so glad to try to be there for others when grief has them upside down.
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Wednesday, July 24, 2024
All 27 outs of Mark Buehrle's perfect game
Tuesday, April 30, 2024
Z is for the Zenith of the American Revolution
George Washington |
By Gilbert Stuart, Public Domain, Link
Thursday, April 25, 2024
A to Z 2024: V is for Various Holidays
For The A to Z Challenge this year, I am focusing on everyday holidays. Each day there are multiple unusual things to celebrate. Every day of the challenge I look for an event taking place that day and pair it with the letter of the day. I have also made up 5 holidays to coincide with the vowel days of the challenge. At the end of each post I will share a special song of the day for that day's letter. At the end of the month, these songs will be assembled in an A to Z keepsake playlist on Spotify. Every day is a celebration, let's unwrap today's together.
April 25th: Multiple Holidays Abound
Everyday of the year there are a plethora of holidays, My job for the challenge was to scour through those holidays and find one that somehow relates to the letter of the day. Since todays letter is V, I thought I might give you a variety pack of holidays, events, and occurrences to celebrate today.
Holidays
National Hairstylist Appreciation Day Held on the 25th April since 2012. Prior to that it was celebrated on April 30th, but alas, that wasn't it's "permanent" day.
International Delegates Day - United Nations The current U.S. Ambassador for the U.N. is Linda Thomas Greenfield. The last former U.S. ambassador to the U.N. that I voted for for President of the U.S. was Nikki Haley.
World Penguin Day Statred in 1972, April 25th coincides with he day that Adelie penguins begin their northern migration. It is a little confusing because I thought it was March of the Penguins, not April.
3 Adelie PenguinsCC BY-SA 2.0, Link
License Plate Day On April 25th 1901 the state of New York made the first law requiring automobiles to have license plates. Speaking of license plates click here to see the I holiday Indicted Illinois Governors Day.
Born On April 25th
Al Pacino - American Actor 1940- present
Edward R Murrow - Radio and Television Journalist - 1908-1965
Edward R Murrow Public Domain,
David Strathairn As Murrow in Good Night and Good Luck |
Guglielmo Marconi - Inventor and Physicist 1874-1937
Died on April 25th
Ginger Rogers - American Actress and Dancer. Died in 1995 at the age of 83
By RKO Radio Pictures Public Domain, Link
John Havlicek - Boston Celtics Basketball Star died at the age of 79 in 2014
Bea Arthur- Actress best know for her roles on t.v. shows Maude, and Golden Girls- died at the age of 86 in 2009
Happened on April 25th ...
2021 - Chloe Zhao win's Best Director Oscar for the film Nomadland. Frances McDormand won the Academy award for Actress in a Leading Role for Nomadland, which also won the Oscar for Best Picture.
1990- Hubble Space Telescope Sent Into Orbit.This hour video show the Space Shuttle bringing the telecope into space and then releasing it into orbit.
This poster shows many of the great pictures taken with the telescope.
By Unknown author Public Domain, Link
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Song of the Day The View From Here Bob Bennet
There is an entire house concert from 2019 on this video, if I have set this up correctly, the intro to the song should start as you open the video. There are 22 songs on the A to Z Spotify playlist now. Just like today it houses a lot of variety.
To go to the home of the A to Z challenge click here, to see the 2024 master list of participating blogs click here. Enjoy the 2024 A to Z challenge, and Happy Holidays!
Monday, April 22, 2024
A to Z 2024: S is for start of something Major
For The A to Z Challenge this year, I am focusing on everyday holidays. Each day there are multiple unusual things to celebrate. Every day of the challenge I look for an event taking place that day and pair it with the letter of the day. I have also made up 5 holidays to coincide with the vowel days of the challenge. At the end of each post I will share a special song of the day for that day's letter. At the end of the month, these songs will be assembled in a to z keepsake playlist on Spotify. Every day is a celebration, let's unwrap today's together.
April 22nd 2024 is the 148th anniversary of the first National League baseball game
April 22nd 1876 is a significant date in the history of American sports. The first game in the newly formed National League took place in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The event took place 2 1/2 months before the 100th anniversary of another significant American beginning that also took place in Philadelphia.
The inaugural game took place between the Philadelphia Athletics and the Boston Red Stockings. With Boston winning 6-5 in a game that took 2 hours to play.
The National League started with 8 teams: Boston Braves(1876-Present) , Philadelphia Athletics (1876-1876), Hartford Blues (1876-1877), St. Louis Brown Stockings (1876-1877) Chicago Cubs (1876- Present) New York Mutuals (1876-1876) Louisville Grays (1876-1877), and Cincinnati Reds (1876-1879). Only the Cubs who were known in their first 25 years in the league as the Chicago White Stockings, Chicago Colts and Chicago Orphans and the Braves who were first known in Boston as the Red Stockings, the Red Caps, Beaneaters, the Nationals, The Bees and The Doves before settling on the Braves and then moving to Milwaukee and then Atlanta have survived to the present. The other 6 teams didn't even make it to the 1880s. The American Leauge began in 1901 and the AL and the NL started facing each other in the World Series in 1902. But April 22nd 1876 is when Major League baseball games started being played, something worth being clelebrated.
Photo caption: Delegates to the Schedule Meeting of the National League and American Association of Base Ball Clubs, Held At The Hotel Rennert, Baltimore, February 25th - 27th, 1897
Friday, April 12, 2024
A to Z: 2024 K is for космонавт (cosmonaut)
Sunday, May 14, 2023
Sunday, March 12, 2023
Happy Birthday Randy Stonehill! A 71 song salute.
On this Day March 12th, 1951 fellow baby boomer and my favorite singer Randy Stonehill was born in California. He turns 71 today and to celebrate I will link 71 of my favorite songs (and yes, I have that many) of his here on this very happy birthday post. Many of these songs can be found on Spotify. All of these songs are available for purchase at Bandcamp. Note: Songs are listed from the album they originally appeared. The song is not always being played from that album.
1. Never Can Repay - Born Twice
2. Faithful - Until We Have Wings
3. Get Me Out of Hollywood- Get me Out of Hollywood
4. Starlings - Return To Paradise 5. Christmas Song For All Year 'Round - Welcome To ParadiseThursday, February 23, 2023
23 23 Aziz Ansari
A Typical Tom Haverford Pose
Ansari was Born on February 23rd, 1983 in Columbia, South Carolina. I was born on the23rd of September in 1964. I graduuated from High School in 1983, and I lived in Columbia for 2 years from 1996 to 1998. If you are not familiar with Park & Rec, the scene below is a really good intro to the Tom Haverford character,
Friday, November 11, 2022
Keith Roller Played With a Full Deck and the Cards He was Dealt.
My brother Keith was born on this day in 1970. He passed away in April of 2013 at the age of 38 from a heart attack while in a nursing home in Elgin. He died a few weeks before he was scheduled to return home to his wife and kids.
Today, he would have turned 52. There is really very little significance to a 52nd birthday, but a few years ago I manufactured a little significance by referring to it as the full deck birthday. This is because a card deck traditionally has 52 cards. Today would have been Keith's full deck birthday.
My brother had social, emotional, physical, and mental health challenges on his brief time here, One could say that the deck was stacked against him. To judge him for his challenges, as many did, would be not only unfair but would rob you of knowing one of the kindest, smartest, funniest people you would ever encounter.
In his short life, he graduated college, fell in love, married and fathered 2 children who he showered love on. While it seems cruel that they hardly remember him, his legacy of kindness, passion, and creativity continues in them.
I was an older brother to Keith, I was also his youth group leader when he was in high school. I guess I was something of a model and an example to him. In many ways he was an example and even a teacher to me and although his life on earth is over the memories and the lessons continue.
Earlier this year, I started 2 sonnets with the same line: The time were given is quite brief. It started as just an exercise, It became much more than that when the 2nd poem became about Keith. As today is not only Keith's birthday but also Poetry Friday. I thought I would share it again here.
Death of a Brother
14 lines after 13 years
Friday, October 21, 2022
Keith Green and Rich Mullins celebrate another posthumous birthday.
Thursday, October 20, 2022
These Blogs Are So Last Year
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Does Grief Last Forever?1 year ago
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Growing Up1 year ago