Google is as Google Does

So, I googled myself recently. And, we all know how painful that can be. Here is what I found:

I get information on the Rabbi David Roller, The Reverend Dave Roller, The former professional football player Dave Roller (I would have mentioned him sooner, but he played for the Packers), and even a reference to Biker Dave's Roller Derby Blog. If I dig deep enough, there are references to this blog. What I don't see, and frankly I don't understand why not is: Dave Roller, Medicine Woman. Jane Seymour worked really hard to look like me, each week, and I am not sure why Google has forgotten this show.

I do have a few more thoughts on Google and some other things, so let's get right to them, shall we?

If you are doing a Google search on Clint Eastwood, don't you feel obligated to use the I'm feeling Lucky button?

Would Macgyver still impress us, with his compendium of seemingly useless, but life saving information, if google had been available to him?

I live in Illinois, and I must say that I am glad that they have taken the Rod Blagojevich Governor signs off the toll roads so quickly. However, there is another sign I'd like them to remove. Under our emergency stopping signs on the highway, there is a sign that says two hours only. SO, you are driving on the expressway and your daughter says "Stop the car, Dad I have an emergency!" You then have to say, "Well gee honey, how long do you think this emergency will take? Cause here, we have a 2 hour limit."

Along those same lines, I was at my local park district recently, and they wanted me to update my emergency contact information. So, I am filling out the paperwork and they asked for my emergency contact's address.

Could you imagine if sometime in the near future my Dad received this letter:

Dear Mr. Roller,

We wanted to inform you that your son, daughter in law and grandchildren were all involved in what we are officially calling a kick ball avalanche. You were listed as their emergency contact, please advise how you would like us to proceed. We are enclosing A SASE and eagerly await your reply.

Love,

The Locality Removed to Avoid Possible Libel Charges Park District

Well, that's about all I have for tonight. You've been a terrific readership. Drive safely.

Next Time: I knew you knew it!

Random Postings: The Guy who Makes the Donuts

A few years ago we had a family website and I would write occasional articles on it. Consider it a pre-blog blog. I named those articles Memo: Random. Occasionally I am going to post them here under Random Postings. This one is back 7 years ago from 1/27/2002.

Recently, I have been waking up in the middle of the night, usually around 3 A.M. Most nights, I go right back to sleep, but sometiimes I don't even try. This morning was one of those occasions.

I woke up at 4:30 after 4 hours of sleep. My wife, Amy, was feeding Charlie our soon to be 3 month old boy. She put him into bed and went back to sleep; but I was wide awake. So I got up, went into the computer room and looked up some things on the internet.

At about 6, our daughter Emma walked in the room. In order to let the other half of our family stay sleeping, I quietly got her dressed and we went out to buy donuts. I didn't have any cash on me, so we went to a Dunkin Donuts that I "remembered" accepted credit cards.

Emma and I got out of the car. The store looked how I expected a donut shop to look at 6 o'clock on a Sunday morning: sparsely populated. There was one car in the drive-thru, one customer ahead of me, and one "regular" nursing his coffee in the corner booth.

When it was our turn, I made our order, making sure to get a good variety. I asked Emma to tell the man what kind she wanted and in language typical of a 2 year old, she said she wanted a white one while pointing to a powdered donut. (If 2 year olds couldn't point it would be a lot harder to understand them.)

When it came time to pay, I pulled out my checkcard and much to my surprise and dismay was told I "remembered" wrong about them accepting credit cards. They did not!

I rather sheepishly had to admit, I had no actual money on me. My plan was to run to an ATM, get cash, and pick up the donuts. The counter person told me to just take the donuts and pay him back another time. I was reluctant to accept his offer but he insisted.

Emma and I took the donuts, went back to the car, got cash at the ATM and came back. By this time, activity at the store had perked up a little. I got in line to pay the guy back. At the same time the "regular" got in line behind me. I thought he was just refilling his coffee but he had come to talk to me.

The man was probably my Dad's age (late 50's/ early 60's). He was the kind of person Emma would refer to as a Grandpa. To Emma, there are four types of males (Baby, Kid, Man and Grandpa). He told me that I did not have to pay for the donuts, that he was picking up the tab.

The most embarrasing part of this incident of not bringing cash was the implication that our family was destitute and needed to panhandle for donuts. Thinking this was his impression, I politely declined indicating "I have money." He responded, "No, I've got it. It's for being honest and coming back."

I was still tempted to refuse his offer, but I think I correctly labeled that temptation as stubborn pride thanked him and went back home.

Many thoughts have penetrated my cranium about what kernel of truth to pull from this man's act of kindness. The first thought I had was that honesty must be a small commodity these days when a total stranger thinks it an oddity that needs to be rewarded. Another along those same lines was that honesty should be a given and needs no reward. The third was always keep $10.00 in the glove box for donut related emegencies. Finally I latched onto this:

Honesty, like any virtue should be pursued, taught and praised when seen in action. As a member of our society, the "regular" was simply affirming the ideal of honesty by giving my family breakfast on the house.

As Emma and Charlie grow up, Amy and I will try to teach them many valuable lessons about character. I can think of none stronger than when you spot virtue in our fallen world: be the guy who buys the donuts.

Meanwhile in 2009: The Dunkin Donuts was torn down recently and a new Dunkin Donuts just opened up at the same location. They now accept credit cards at least I "remember" using one there. :)

Next Time: Beginnings Part II: A Walk to the Lake

Randomness

I have recently been requested to post again here. I understand why people would want me to post again, my posts have the same calories as sugar or honey and are good in moderation, or something like that. So here are some more Random Thoughts:

When I can't find my cellphone I just call my number from my home phone to find it. I wish I could do that with Emma's hairbrush, but I think it's unlisted!

Speaking of phones, did you hear about the introvert who never used his answering machine?
He couldn't leave an outgoing message.

This morning Lucy (who just turned 3 in December) came up to Amy with a piece of paper and a pencil and asked her something about giants. Amy thought by the context that she wanted her to draw a giant and tried three times to do so to Lucy's mounting frustration. Finally Lucy could take no more and said to Amy " Mom, look at me, I want you to write the WORD giant!"

And finally lets head back to the phones to a conversation I have had with more than one telemarketer:

Telemarketer: Hi, I'm calling to tell you about our product.

Me: I'm sorry, I don't do business over the phone.

Telemarketer: Neither does our company, let me go ahead and tell you about our fantastic product.

Me: You are doing business over the phone right now.

Telemarketer: I meant besides that.

Craziness!

Next Time: Emma Writes (The photograph edition)