A Quote to Start Things Off

All of the beef I have with Religion has nothing to do with Jesus. Bob Bennett discussing his conversion experience on the 1 Degree of Andy podcast.

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Pictures of Memories I

Pictures of Memories I
Snow kidding! These "kids" now range from 17 to 23

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Friday, September 18, 2009

The Man who Loved Books Too Much.

Book Stealer: Sociopath or misunderstood collector?

I have written HERE before about Library Things Early Reviewer program. It's a great program. I especially like it because it gives me the opportunity to add books to my library without paying for them. Certainly, I need to review the books to better my chances of winning more in the future. But since I am at least as passionate about blogging as I am about reading, it certainly does make for fun on a budget.


My most recent free book from Library Thing, The Man Who Loved Books Too Much. It is the fantastic but true account of a criminal stealer of books, the used book seller turned detective who brought him to justice, and the author whose own obsession threatens to impede the impartial chronicling of the story and make her a character in the tale as well.


If you are the type of person who skips introductions, prefaces, and prologues in works of nonfiction.and saunters right down to Chapter 1, don't make that mistake here! Allison Hoover Bartlett crafts a gripping page turner from the first sentence of said prologue. From there she chronicles the obsessions of the 3 main characters of her book.
First is the titular star of the book, John Charles Gilkey. The word sociopath does not appear in the 258 pages from prologue to afterward, unless you contend as I do, that Gilkey is a walking definition of the word.


My Merriam-Websters dictionary defines sociopath as "see psychopath", and defines sociopathic as "of relating to, or characterized by asocial or antisocial behavior or a pyschopathic personality". Neither of those definitions prove to be very illuminating, so I ambled over to Dictionary.com where they define sociopath as "a person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience." It is the last part of the definition that describes Gilkey. Here is a man amassing hundred of thousands of dollars of rare books by credit card fraud, who refers to his activities by benign words like "I got a book here," rather than saying I used bad check and stolen credit card numbers to steal those books.


Gilkey sees people in two categories 1) people to impress with his collection and 2) people to help further his collection. The problem is because of the way he obtains his books, there is no one who can possibly fit in the first category. That is, until he begins to use the author and the promise of being featured in her magazine article and books as an audience to impress.


The second obsessed character chronicled by Bartlett is Ken Sanders, the lapsed Mormon turned bookseller turned detective. Sanders is obsessed with justice. While he is very eager to share his stories of how rampant and destructive thievery and fraud is in the rare book industry, he is very reluctant to have Gilkey portrayed as anything other than twisted and depraved. His obsession with justice is so strong he often asks Bartlett if her readers will find him more crazy than Gilkey.


Finally, the third obsession is that of Bartlett, the chronicler of this tale. While Gilkey's obsession is collecting books he can't or won't pay for, and Sander's obsession is keeping legitimate collectors safe, and bring illegitimate ones to justice, Bartlett's is more difficult to define. Her obsession is with collecting their stories. In doing so she becomes so involved that Gilkey begins to show her "probably" stolen goods and confessing many crimes. He even tours a bookstore that he has stolen from with her. She gets so intertwined in his dealings that, she must seek legal advice to make sure she has not crossed the line from chronicler to codefendant. Her angst translates well to the page and adds to the readers' enjoyment.


In the books afterword (also a must read), says "this story had me under its spell from beginning to end." Many writers write stories that they are enchanted by, sometimes these stories are crushed under the weight of such enchantment. Bartlett deftly manages to mesmerize the reader under the same spell. I recommend it for your collection. I urge you to pay for it.


To see more SIX WORD SATURDAY go to Show my Face dot com. Also get ready to participate this coming Thursday in Three Things this Thursday.


Next Time: I thought we all knew the President's address.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Annoncement: 3 Things This Thursday Moving Here..

Hey There as many of you may know Michelle at Psalm 104: 24 was hosting this cool meme called THREE THINGS THIS THURSDAY. She even had this cool badge for it:



If you are unfamiliar with 3TTTm here's how it works. On Thursdays instead of people blogging about 1 thing they would blog about 3. They would then link up their posts over at Michelle's sight. Michelle shut down 3TTT for the Summer and has asked me take over the reins at 3TTT beginning this fall.

I am gladly accepting her offer. Starting next Thursday, September 24th, I will post my 3 things along with a Mr. Linky so you can link your 3 things to mine.

3TTT will basically work the same way it did at Michelle's sight. One modification I will make is to have a Themed Edition the Third Thursday of each month. This being the Third Thursday of September, I introduce 3 Badges Thursday. I have designed 3 possible badge designs that you could use on your site to promote 3TTT. Let me know which one you think I should go with.

1.

2.

3.



So those are my 3 badges this Thursday. Come on in next Thursday to participate!

Next Time: A collection of Criminals

Saturday, September 12, 2009

My employers stuck me in a cubicle . . .


And said: Think outside the box.

Just another reason why I prefer being a home school dad. For more Six Word Saturday fun bop on over to SHOW MY FACE DOT COM.


Next Time: 3 Things This Thursday.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

4 Weddings and a funeral. Part III.


Today is Amy's Birthday. I am blessed to have such a wonderful wife. As I mentioned in my last post, we recently viewed our wedding video from way back in 1998. Amy and I had a short engagement, we were engaged in November of '97 and married in April '98. The week after I proposed, I went to Schlotsky's Deli on my lunch break and penned a song to be played at our Wedding. Schlotsky's Deli has long since closed, but our marriage still lives on, as does the song. Yes I did get the title from the song from the movie Jerry Maguire. Remember this song is a mission statement not a memo.




You Complete Me

Left my ego at the altar
Left my pride out in the pew
God has brought us both together
And he gives us love that's true

It feels so much like a movie
Best of friends who fell in love
As we walk this aisle together
I can feel His blessings from above

Chorus:

You are mine
I am yours
We are His
We have never been our own

One Flesh
One Love
One Family
You complete me
You complete me

God has made us for each other
As he's made us for Himself
I will love you when there's sickness
I will love you when there's health

There's a love that lasts forever
There's a love that's life it gives
It is founded in the Father
By it we know we are His

Chorus:

You are mine
I am yours
We are His
We have never been our own



One Flesh
One Love
One Family
You complete me
You complete me

Bridge:

Struggles come more often than the mail
We are weak, we know that we will fail
God gave us grace to help each other through
He sent us His Spirit
To guide us in whats true

Chorus:

You are mine
I am yours
We are His
We have never been our own

One Flesh
One Love
One Family
You complete me
You complete me.
Happy birthday Babe. You are so up!



Next Time: Six word Saturday meets Seven Word September.







Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Married Eyes: Not Open and Shut Case.

My daughter is becoming obsessed with her wedding. If it were my ten year old this would be a little disconcerting, but understandable. It, alas, is my 3 year old. She has been peppering us with marriage questions lately. The most recent was a doozy:


"Do you have to close your eyes to be married?"


Well yesterday we watched our wedding video from '98. We showed Lucy that yes our eyes were indeed open.


You bloggers know that every thing that happens in the life of a blogger reminds them of a good blog post idea. Well this most recent Lucyism was no exception. It got me thinking about the expectations we have when it comes to relationships.


When it comes to marriage, some people enter in with their eyes closed. They do this for a multitude of reasons. Sometimes it is simply not having a proper understanding of the differences between men and women.


I heard an excellent sermon series a few decades back by Bill Hybels, Senior Pastor of Willow Creek Church. He stated that men often compartmentalize their activities. When a young man is wooing a woman, he will pull out all the stops: candlelight, dinners, moon lit walks, poetry, flowers, candy, the whole bit. Hybels stated that after the wedding that the husband will now refocus those energies that he put into courtship, into advancing his career. So now the energies that were devoted to his fiancee are channeled into making a better living for them.



Hybels goes onto say that the woman felt that this "special treatment" was going to continue long through the marriage. When it ends the woman may begin to wonder if they married the right person. Hybels does it much better justice than I do, but the point remains opening your eyes to the inner working of the opposite gender especially of that special someone can make the transition from romance to honeymoon to marital life that much smoother.



Other times eyes are closed based, as they say in court room dramas, "from making assumptions not based on facts in evidence." By this I mean, for instance, if you are romantically interested in someone who has the second largest collection of Star Wars Action figures in the county, you shouldn't be surprised that once you're married, he continues to buy new ones week after week.


Many times closed eyes occurs from settling. People often feel that they have to lower their standards in order to find a marriage partner. Sometimes, as we will discover in a few paragraphs, they do need to as their "standards" were unattainable. Often, however, standards are lowered for no other reason than fear of being alone the rest of their life. I have seen teenagers lower their standards for this reason. Teenagers!


Here are two examples of what people should not settle on:


1. If you are a Christian do not marry an unbeliever. This is what the bible calls unequally yoked. The word picture is that of two different sized oxen plowing a field. Tethered together pulling in different directions, no useful plowing can be done. The same is true of the person trying to please God and the other trying to please only themselves. Don't just take their word either. Look closely at their life.


In applying for jobs when I was in college, I would often be asked how many words a minute I could type. Now I could have certainly exaggerated my WPM in order to have a better chance at the job. The thing was, that the employer generally followed up the application process with a typing test to determine my true WPM. This is a good practice in relationships as well, look for outward evidence of professions.

2. Do not marry anyone who is ever physically, verbally, or emotionally abusive. Too many people marry known abusers, thinking either they deserve the abuse or that they can change the abuser. If someone hits you once, the deals off. Don't think that you need to marry them because this might be your last chance. You need not to marry them for the same reason!


Other settling that can be avoided is marrying out of fear rather than love. The bible states that perfect love casts out all fear. I did not marry until I was in my mid 30's. Prior to courting Amy, I was getting to the point where I was considering lowering my standards. I t would have been easy for me to lower my standards and settle for less than God's best for me. Instead, I yielded my will to God. For the first time in almost 15 years, I felt at peace with the idea of being single the rest of my days. It was at that point that my eyes were opened to the possibility that my best friend of 7 years, could also be the woman I was looking for all my life. Amy also had accepted singleness as a gift rather than a curse and had chosen not to settle for something outside of God's timing.


As I stated before, sometimes our eyes can be too open. My older sister planned her wedding out for years before she ever met her husband. Specifically she had planned out all the songs that would be played at her wedding reception. I think she had 8-10 hours of must songs by the time she met Andy. Mercifully, not every must song was played at her wedding.


In the same way not every thing on your list for your future spouses attributes may need to be there. Over the years people change and what you felt was a must for a spouse when you were married could no longer be true 5 years into the thing.


As I have mentioned here before I plan on following a courtship model for my own children. This means I will be very involved in my daughters' and son's selection process. While courtship may not be for everyone,I strongly advocate the involvement of parents, other family members, and friends in the spousal selection process.

My lists for my childrens' spouses may be different than their own lists. This would be for 2 reasons: 1) As their father, I have a certain amount of insight into their character and their needs. 2) As a married man, I will have a better understanding of what is needed for a strong marriage than they would. I plan on taking advantage of the many opportunities I have to relate these insights to my children as they grow.

So no Lucy, you don't have to have your eyes closed to get married. I'm gonna keep my eyes open, on your behalf.

Next time: Four Weddings and a Funeral. Part III.

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