Beginnings Part III: Now Where Were We?

The Faqs of Life.

My Life in Frequently Asked Question format.

Today's topic: Now Where Were We?

Q: When did you first meet your wife?

A: In the Fall of 1990. I was active in the Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship chapter at Western Illinois University. At our first meeting of the year, Amy was there. I remember talking to her at that meeting.

Q: What were your impressions?

A: I can do a pretty good Bob Dylan singing Amazing Grace.

Q: No, I mean what did you think of her?

A: I thought she was very nice. I remember talking to her about being from Lisle, which is where my Grandparents lived.

Q: What were her first thoughts of you?

A: Before the meeting she had seen me at the Hardees restaurant in the student union. I was in line, wearing a ball cap, stroking my chin and contemplating my order. Her first thought of me, was that I was the kind of guy that would be at the Inter-Varsity meeting she was going to. It turns out she was right.

Q: Did you start dating right away?

A: Oh, no. Unless you count "right away" as 7 years later.

Q: So do I have to ask you 7 years of questions?

A: No, ask how we became friends and I'll lead you home.

Q: How did you become friends?

A: I think it started the next week at our chapter retreat. I was trying to get to know all the new people. However, I had many responsibilities on the retreat. So, I would start a conversation with Amy and Vern Vincent would need to talk to me about the skit we were in or someone else would want to know what time the speaker was coming or some such. I would then go back to Amy and say "now where were we?" She would always say "We weren't anywhere, we hadn't started yet." I thought that was terrifically funny.

Amy, it turns out has a terrific sense of humor honed by many years of teasing her dogs and younger siblings. One Sunday afternoon at Golden Corral after she was done eating, she said she was fuller than a Theological Seminary. Anyone who knows me, and heard that joke, would attribute it to me in a heartbeat.

Q: So you could say it was love at first joke?

A: You could say that, but you'd be wrong.

Q: Now where were we?

A: That's my line. But we were talking about how I first met Amy. We became inseparable friends. Before we could become friends, however, she had to give me an IQ test.

Q: How did you do?

A: Excellent. I kept making jokes. Amy was testing her friends because she was studying to be a school psychologist. I would make jokes during the testing. It was great fun.

Q: With all the time you were spending together did anyone ever try to couple you up?

A: Who didn't? I once had a girlfriend who tried to get us together. We didn't date too long after that.

Q: Why were so many people getting mixed messages about you. It's not like you wrote songs for her.

A: No, I wrote songs about her all the time. But they were mostly to make her laugh on road trips to and from school. I did write her what could be construed as a love song when I was in Russia, but that was more of a friendship song.

Q: Well it wasn't like you bought a ring or anything.

A: Actually, I did that too.

Q: You what?

A: When she lived in Peoria she was working hard to get out of debt. She really wanted to buy herself an emerald ring but could not afford it. The next week on my lunch break I saw a circular that was advertising an emerald ring at a very reasonable price. I really thought that was God's way of telling me to buy her the ring. So, I did.

Q: Well at least you never slipped a putter through her hoop earrings while she was wearing them.

A: What goes on at mini golf stays at mini golf.

Q: So when did things develop romantically? I mean they did develop romantically? This isn't just a green card wedding is it?

A: No, we're legit. In December 1996, I was in South Carolina and she was in Hickory Hills. We used to chat from time to time on AOL. One day I could tell something was troubling her and it came to me like an epiphany. She's in love with me and is afraid to tell me because if she does the friendship won't be the same.

Q: So what did you do?

A: Over a long chat I coaxed it out of her. When she finally typed it. It had a tremendous impact on me.

Q: What kind of impact?

A: The closest thing I can compare it to is my conversion experience. I was sitting there, thinking this is my best friend, what would I do without her. Then it was like the lights went on and I realized this is more than my best friend this is the woman I want to share the rest of my life with.

Q: What happened next?

A: I visited Chicago a week later with the purpose of seeing whether Amy and I might be more than friends. I went to church with her and was grilled by some of the high school students she worked with. You know a girl is serious about you when she sicks Amanda Lesmeister and company on you.

We decided to make a go of it. During her spring break she visited me. After that week, I knew. I mean when someone shouts "hey, love interest" to you on Stone Mountain, you know. The week after she left, I put an emerald engagement ring on lay-a-way. She had always told me she wanted an emerald engagement ring. This one was no mere token of friendship.

In July of '97 I moved back to Illinois, In November I proposed,and we were married April 11,1998.

Q: Is there a place people could go to read more about how people fell in love, and perhaps post their own story?

A: They could click here and be sent to the Share your Love Story page at Heavenly Homemakers.com

Next Time: For Reluctant Writers

Crazy Dave's Give-A-Ways: The Power of an Encouraging Word.

This is officially the 25th post at Home School Dad. I thought I would celebrate by having my first give-away. I plan to give something away every 25 posts with every 100th post being a contest. Just comment on this post to be entered to win the book. I am posting all the "official" rules on a sidebar. Without further adieu, here is my first give-away:

The Power of an Encouraging Word


Encouragement - creating hope for the future - Ken Sutterfield from His book "The Power of an Encouraging Word."

From December '92 to November 1994, I served as a Southern Baptist Missionary in a Russian city of approximately 800,000, called Khabarovsk. At the time, they were the best 2 years of my life. (When you get the privilege of being married to a girl like Amy for nearly 11 years, everything else pales in comparison.) In Khabarovsk, I eventually teamed with 4 other missionaries to share the gospel and start a church among the college students. I say, eventually, because I came in November and the first of my teammates came the following summer. My first 6 months, I taught English, learned Russian and went to about 5 Russian Baptist church meetings per week.

I was one of the first Americans living in the region, but was hardly ever lonely. I dived right into my studies and my ministry. I went cross country skiing in 20 below weather. Let's face it, the first few months, I did everything in 20 below weather. I led a man to faith in Christ just by getting in a conversation about Russian Roulette. Like I say, I was hardly ever lonely for America or Americans. I should say, until Easter of 1993.

To the Russian Baptists, Easter is a much bigger deal than Christmas. A Russian Baptist Easter service is a sight to behold, with much singing, preaching and sending of greetings. The problem is that the calendar for Russia's Easter is different than America's Easter. Easter Sunday as I know it, was 1 week prior to Russian Easter. So on American Easter Sunday, it was just another Sunday at my new church and I was homesick, feeling isolated and frustrated with not being able to communicate heart to heart fully in Russian or English

I don't know if my good friend Vladimir Lebedev, one of the young men from the Baptist Church who later became the Pastor of the church we started, noticed my malaise or not. But after the evening service he advised me that there was another American in town and that he and I were going to visit him in his hotel. So we endeavored through Khabarovsk public trans to find that he was not at his hotel, so we went over to Vladimir's house to regroup. His mother made a nice dinner and while we were eating, Vladimir translated for his father as he told me this: "If anyone were to stop by and look at this house right now, they would feel like I have another son. You are part of our family."

Many people have done and said many kind things for me over the years, but Vladimir's father's words ministered to me in a way that no words have before or since. It was one of those moments in early language learning, when you understand the meaning before the translation is given. As in the quote I led off with, an encouraging word had given me hope for the future and I believe that was the last time I was that homesick in the entirety of my time in Khabarovsk.

I am going to give away 1 copy of Ken Sutterfield's book. It is a series of vignettes about encouragement. The author's goal is that the book will promote the act of encouragement. I hope I have a small part in that by promoting the book in this manner. Just post a comment by 11:00 p.m. CST 2/28/09. I will let you know who wins.

Next Time: Beginnings Part III, Now Where Were We?

What would you ask or tell the President?

As part of school this week, Emma, Charlie and myself wrote letters to our new President, Barack Obama. The first day we just decided over lunch what questions we wanted to ask him. I am not sure that all of these questions made our final copies but here are the questions we came up with:



What is your favorite animal?
What is your favorite land animal?
What is your favorite ocean animal? (We are fairly fond of animals at the Izola Becker School)
What is your favorite sport?
Who is your favorite player on the White Sox?
Do your daughters have Webkinz?
What do your daughters like?
Do you like being President?
What is your favorite restaurant?
Why did you want to be President?
What's the food like at the White House?


The children including Lucy ( click here for the link to the picture she drew if you missed it the first time) all drew pictures of their favorite animals for President Obama.

It got me thinking with a new president and Presidents' Day coming up that other families may want to do an assignment like this themselves. If you want information of how to contact the president on the computer or by mail click here.

I would like to hear from you what you would ask or tell President Obama. I have put in my first Mr. Linky below, if you would like to post what you woull tell/ask Mr. Obama. Otherwise just leave a comment.

If you would like to see posts from other home schooling families click here to go to Spritibees for this weeks Carnival of Homeschooling.

Next Time: Crazy Dave's Give-a-ways: The Power of an Encouraging Word.

Annual/Season Passes: Deal or no Deal?

It's Friday, and that means that frugality reigns in blog world. This is my first foray into Frugal Friday which appears weekly at Biblical Womanhood. At the end of my post I will avail you with the opportunity to scramble over that way and see what other frugal festivities abound.

I think a key to frugality is to know when to spend and when not to spend. Amy (for those who don't know, Amy is my wife. She's my wife for those who do know, as well) and I have often nickel and dimed ourselves out of money rather than the other way around. One area where we have learned frugality is in knowing when to get annual or season passes and when not to. You know how when you are at a museum, amusement park or the like and the ticket person advises you that you could get an annual pass for another 50 dollars. When do you go for the upgrade and when is enough enough? I have a few ideas that have helped us make those decisions.

Know in Advance Your Plan of Use.

As I mentioned earlier this week we are a swimming family. We hit the local pool in the summer time as often as we can. The cost for our family last year was 18 dollars per visit. The cost of a summer pool pass for a family our size was 199 dollars. So the break-even point for us was 11 visits. We can generally manage that in a fortnight. In order to know whether such a venture would work for you, you would have to know how often you would be using the pass. If our family went only 5 times we would be out almost 110 dollars. Ten times and we'd be down only twenty bucks. If we went 20 times during the summer we would save 160 dollars. As a certain bald headed game show host might tell us, "we made a good deal."

Know What Doesn't Work for You.

A few years ago, our family got an annual pass at a Children's Museum. The particular pass allowed us to have free admission to a variety of other children's museums as well as the original museum. It worked quite well for us. Our children were 5 and 3 and the museums were perfect for them. Last summer the children each received a free ticket to attend that museum. They quite enjoyed themselves. But now at 8 and 6, I don't think it would hold their interest for regular visits, although the 2 year old did love it. The cost of the pass we got a few years ago is 110 dollars per year. The cost for me and the children to go by ourselves is $34.00. Break-even would be 4 visits. I am not sure that we have the interest for 2 visits a year let alone 4. Also we generally get 3 0r 4 free tickets to the place every year. So, I think I'd have to say: No deal.


Don't Let Season Passes Force the Fun Out of Your Fun.

My parents, God bless them, take each of their grandchildren on a pilgrimage to Disney World prior to their 10th birthday, so they can still get the children's rates. Emma went last April. My parents got a terrific deal on a multi-kingdom ticket or some such thing. Every day they went to a new place and had a terrific time. When Emma came back, I asked her what her favorite day was. She said the day they stayed at the hotel and played at the pool there all day. An extreme example of this would be subjecting yourself or your family to something you didn't like just to get your money's worth.

Don't Overdo It.

We generally never have more than one season's or annual pass at a time. The year we had the pass at the children's museum, we didn't renew our zoo pass. Also in this vain, we usually don't automatically renew our annual passes. For the zoo, we buy a new one the next time we go after the pass lapses. This way we get the maximum use of the pass.

Play on House Money.

I often will use money I have received as gifts or tax refunds to purchase passes with. This for us increases the savings and lets us use our regular income on regular items. I hope these tips will help you too to have fun on a budget. For more ideas on Friday Frugality click here.

Next Time: What would you ask the President?

10 40 Window

When I was in college, I went twice to a once-in-a-life-time event called the Urbana Missions Conference.

For more about the Urbana Missions Conference click here.

At my second conference, Urbana '90, I attended with many friends from the Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship chapter of Western Illinois University, including my friend Geoff.

To find out more about Inter-Varsity click here (Do you sense a vast click here conspiracy?).

At the conference, many of the speakers talked about, what is known in missions circles, as the 10 40 (ten-forty) window. For more about the 10 40 window click here.

I don't think Geoff really caught on to what the 10-40 window is. He thought it meant I'll get married and have 10 kids by the time I'm 40.

Yesterday, in my mail, I got an invitation to an open house at Geoff's place. The signature advised that they were expecting again. That's 10 kids, and Geoff won't be 40 until this summer.

Congratulations Geoff and Kim!

Next time: Seasons/Annual passes, Deal or no Deal?